For all you confused freshers
You’ve completed a month of first year, yet it feels like your halls have been your home for a whole lifetime. It’s natural to suddenly feel a bit homesick and overwhelmed by probably the most terrifying, exciting and exhausting few weeks of your life, so far.
Freshers’ flu is still clinging on and the distraction of Freshers’ and settling into your degree is starting to slow down. A lot of your home friends are consistently posting ‘Flat Mexican Night’ or ‘Cute Movie Night In’ on social media, perhaps meaning you reflect on your own flat, who just aren’t ‘your sort of people’.
Don’t worry, more of us have been there than you would think and after chatting to some freshers in the last few weeks, there were enough of you out there, feeling a bit lonely and anxious, because the first weeks of uni haven’t been ‘the best experience of your whooooole life!!’ like everyone said they would.
Keep joining societies
The first week of uni isn’t the only opportunity to join societies. If you’re overwhelmed by all the challenges of the first couple of weeks (moving in, freshers week, starting lectures etc), sometimes going to various society meetings alone can become too daunting. Instead, settle into your course, maybe mention the societies you’re interested in to your course mates and see if any of them are also interested. Going to something new with a friend is much more enjoyable than going alone!
Use your course
Course mates are easy to start conversation with as you all have a major common interest. One friend is a doorway to, potentially, a whole flat or friendship group that are exactly what you’re looking for. A wise person once told me that “the more people you come in contact with, the higher your chances are of meeting someone you like”. So, chat to as many people as possible, add them on social media and make the effort, everyone’s in the same position and will appreciate someone who’s confident enough to make the first move.
Don’t hibernate in your room
One of the first things a vulnerable, anxious student does is to call a close family member for some advice and home comfort. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with this. However, don’t hide away. It’s easy and comfortable but it isn’t helpful – uni is all about stepping out of your comfort zone and doing things that make you nervous for the greater good! So when you’re feeling a bit lonely, text that friend from the other night who added you on Facebook and ask them if they want to do something. Yes, this feels like primary school socialising and yes, the fear of rejection is overpowering. But, 90 per cent of the time, they are just as keen to make mates as you are, so be brave!
Don’t be defeated
As much as you may envy your friends with the ‘perfect’ flat, give it a few months before they start coming to you ranting about how annoying/loud/messy/bitchy they’ve all become and you’ll be the one with the variety of friends from halls, your course, the netball society, etc. without a care in the world! The most healthy relationships are the ones that are formed naturally, with people you don’t have to wake up to every morning…