Soton Tab’s Sex Survey Results

Have you ever wondered what the sex is like at Southampton?

| UPDATED

You’ve just joined University of Southampton, you know where it is in the league tables, you know it’s Russell Group, you may know what the people are like, but what about the one question we know is floating around in all freshers heads, what is the sex life like?

Statistics

In our sex survey, 29% of people admitted to losing their v-card at uni, so if you haven’t yet, now’s your chance fresher! Moreover, perhaps not at the top of your list, but a massive 49% of people in our survey lost their anal virginity at uni, feeling adventurous?

Finally, one night stands, something that university is renowned for, and Southampton sets the bar high with 54% of our participants having a one night stand for the first time at uni!

You had sex where?!

With 20% of our survey having had sex on campus, it’s not surprising that we got some interesting answers to our question ‘where’s the weirdest place you’ve had sex at uni?’

It’s slightly worrying that five people have told us they’ve gotten down and dirty in Hartley, but at least they’re spending time in the library…right?!

Moreover, keep your eyes peeled for the bench between Stags and the Us building, but maybe avoid sitting on it, as Rory has done the deed right there.

Among the popular answers were toilets, tables, and kitchens, and despite Elizabeth and Jenny, both of whom have banged in Jesters, the outright winner of weirdest place to have sex is definitely in a SUSU minibus, how does that even happen?

Quantity, not quality…

…seems to be the motto of some of our horny Southampton students, as the number of people they have slept with has sky-rocketed since going to uni. Third year Jenny seems to be our top-shagger, having slept with 63 people since joining uni, how did you find time to do your coursework?

Did that really happen?

We asked students for their weirdest and most embarrassing sexual experiences; some funny, some hilarious, and some just slightly worrying…

Renée told us, ‘we were subtly getting busy in a club (there was jacket covering my lap and well…you get the gist) when some random stranger came over and started talking to us. I had to pretend that I didn’t have a dick in my hand.’ I wonder if the stranger noticed?

Another student shared with us an ever-so-slightly embarrassing BJ story: ‘I hooked up with a guy and was insanely drunk. I usually pride myself on the BJs I give but this one was really sloppy. I suddenly felt really queasy when I was deep throating him and suddenly just threw up all over him… At least I managed to get his dick out of my mouth in time.’

Other answers included being kicked out of switch for being fingered, unfortunate guys struggling to get it up, multiple walks of shame and farting during sex…does it get any better?

Hopefully, you’re looking forward to your first year at uni, filled with lectures, seminar, but most importantly, sex! Our only recommendation is bring a pair of earplugs, as 77% of our participants have heard their flatmates having sex, and lets face it, when you have a 9am lecture, the last thing you want to be listening at 2am is bed springs…