Southampton students’ most embarrassing relationship moments

Hilarious and cringeworthy

Happy Valentine’s Day! In celebration of the most romantic holiday of the year, we’ve put together a couple of the most embarrassing relationship mishaps of all time.

The fake-tan incident

After being invited to her boyfriend’s cousins wedding, Sarah Weller, from London, was ecstatic, ‘I finally felt like I was becoming a part of his family and I was desperate to impress!’ This was the first time she had been to a wedding and after days of planning the perfect outfit she decided on a pale pink bodycon, asymmetric skirt and turtleneck front. Very chic, very modest.

After being introduced to everyone she felt completely at ease. In a side room, all the men were sat in silence waiting for the family and bridesmaids to get ready. You could hear a pin drop. As she walked in her boyfriend offered her a chair and immediately she froze. On the seat, someone had spilled a large drop of water. ‘In my mind I was fighting between do not make a scene and there’s water on that chair… DO NOT MAKE A SCENE, THERES WATER ON THAT CHAIR,’ and in that split second she decided to keep her mouth shut and brave the wet patch.

During the ceremony, everyone was asked to stand for a prayer. Laughter and whispered chat were coming from the table behind her but she was anxious just being there and put it down to her nerves. Why would it be directed at her?

Finally, the bar opened and a large vodka martini was calling. As she walked out of the hall she noticed a large floor length mirror and was excited to reassure herself that the laughter following her around all day was just her paranoia, but as she turned, her heart sank. Her fake tan had soaked into the water from the chair and dried into a large, brown stain right where you wouldn’t want it. ‘I was absolutely mortified, I could feel myself starting to cry and I just had to get out of there,’ nothing could get any worse from this point – everyone had seen it. She stood up for hymns, walked past hundreds of people to get to the buffet and stood with her back to the entire crowd to congratulate the bride and groom. It was time to go. As she was leaving the hall the bride rushed past her to get to the bar. Sarah walking to the exit, the bride in the opposite direction. Her beautiful lace train dancing behind her and found itself in the path of Sarah’s foot. Her heel got stuck in a gap in the lace and as the bride rushed away, the dress made the horrifying sound of a soul-crushing, family-destroying, best day of your life-ruining rip, ‘the rest of the evening is a blur to be honest, mixed with a lot of screaming and crying.’

The family dog

The first time third year, Jamie Donavon, met his girlfriend’s family was three years ago. He had already met the family dog, Freddie, and was glad to have had his approval to take the pressure off. “Three years ago I was a lot more immature than I am now, I thought it would funny to pretend I was a no sex before marriage type of guy and her parents were lapping it up!” Dinner went well. Jamie was a born again Christian who spent Saturday nights volunteering at a homeless shelter and when asked if he did drugs replied, “only coffee.”

After dinner, they went upstairs. His girlfriend had blown up an inflatable crown for a party the night before and when Jamie put it on he was good to go. Just as things were hotting up, Freddie started frantically scratching at the door. His girlfriend assured him that if you ignore it he would leave and so Jamie continued. Mid doggy style, the door opens and in walks Freddie, very pleased with himself. They froze, across the landing her father walked out of his study, shut the door behind him and stopped. “He looked me dead in the eye, balls deep in his daughter, and the only way to describe his expression was pure hate.” His girlfriend had curled up into the foetal position and Jamie was left on his knees, covering what little dignity he had left, waiting for her father to remember whether treason still carried the death penalty. The longest ten seconds of his life. Eventually her dad decided against it and walked away but Jamie still thought it best to leave via the bedroom window and he hasn’t been back since.