An ode to the guy who cracked his head open as I was pulling him

u okay b?

We locked eyes during One Direction’s “That’s What Makes You Beautiful”. It was as if time had slowed down, you turned my head as you walked through the do-o-or. You glided across the dancefloor towards me, as if it was gravity pulling us together. Or perhaps it was the spilt jaeger bombs.


The night became ever more magical. I knew you were The One when you effortlessly dabbed to Abba’s Dancing Queen in perfect synchronisation to the beat. Everything was going so well, the night was still young with so many possibilities. Thoughts of marriage and babies with my Dabbing Soul Mate were swirling throughout my head.

Until you slipped over and fell your on your ass right by the barriers. At first I thought, lol banter.  This’ll be a great story to tell the kids, Dad made a right knob of himself on our first meeting. I soon realised that it was in fact not banter but actually quite serious.


As I stood in complete shock, people rushed to your aid. Once you stood up, I could see the blood spilling out of your head down your neck. You’ve cracked your head open, woops. Before I got the chance to rescue my damsel in distress, security guards whisked you away from me as you were on the brink of collapse. We were now separated for eternity. I was devastated.

Although I didn’t even get your name, I will cherish our small time together and remember it till the day I die. Every time I listen to an Abba song, I will think of you fondly.  Every time I dab, I will silently shed a tear; pondering what could have been. All I want to know is, are you alright mate? Hope you’re sound.

Utterly devastated

Utterly devastated