All the student stereotypes you eventually give in to
Students are more similar than you think
Everyone looks forward to University as a fresh start, a chance to re-invent yourself, make new friends and gain invaluable new experiences. You anticipate the start of your (semi) adult life with a mixture of nerves and hope, determined to make the most of the university place that you have worked tirelessly towards securing for the last 2 years. Despite your best intentions, you are likely to succumb to some student stereotypes which befall every young fresher.
Stealing your flatmates’ milk
Before university you are likely to never have given any thought to the milk in your fridge and the idea of stealing someone else’s milk had certainly never crossed your mind. You could never imagine yourself doing such a thing – you’re a decent person, you have morals.
Once at uni you will find yourself in a whole world of milk dilemmas. It starts one day when you’ve boiled the kettle and suddenly discover that you’re out of milk. You think that your flatmate won’t notice if you borrow some of theirs, it’s only a few drops right? Then before you know it, you’ve become the resident milk thief, brazenly using others’ milk whether its been opened or not. Just try not to get caught, it can ruin friendships.
Leaving washing up until you have no more plates left
You finish your dinner, rinse the plate, even fill the sink with hot soapy water, but the prospect of having to actually wash up is too much. You announce that you’re just going to ‘let it soak’ whilst you take a shower and then you’ll come back to it. Yet, three episodes into your new Netflix addiction later and the washing up is still lying forgotten on the side, having been retrieved from the cold dishwater by a disgruntled flatmate. In fact, ‘I’ll do it tomorrow’ will become your daily mantra as you add to the growing stacks of plates festering on the side. Not until you are down to your last fork will you admit that it is time to tackle the mountain of neglected crockery, whilst reminiscing fondly about the times when you had a dishwasher *sigh*
Using mugs instead of glasses
It is due to this persistent neglect of washing up that you will be forced to use glasses as a substitute for glasses, bowls, pretty much everything, as it is the only thing you’ll ever have left in your cupboard. The contents of your mug could be absolutely anything on any given day; juice, soup, one of the many (many) tins of beans that you will consume in your time at uni. There are no limits to your mug mayhem, enjoy!
It is a fairly cemented stereotype that students miss lectures, one you confidently dismiss you will conform to. You fully intend to make the most of every lecture and seminar that you have. You’re paying £9,000 a year for this, it would be silly to waste it! However the combined effort of your newly messed up body clock and the free 6 month amazon prime student trial has you staying up until 6am and suddenly even making it to your afternoon lectures on time is a struggle. Midnight might seem like only 10pm, but those 9ams feel like 6ams and you have no idea how you ever managed to get to school on time. Before you know it, you’ll be rationalising your absence from any lecture timetabled before lunchtime with the fresher’s mantra – “It’s only first year, it doesn’t count!”
Running out of money
You started the year proclaiming that you were going on a diet but unfortunately, thanks to those post-Oceana trips to McDonalds, the only thing getting smaller is your bank balance. Before long, you’ll be gleefully dipping into your overdraft, that you swore was “only for emergencies”, for that self-congratulatory Costa. You deserve it – you made it to your 9am on time.
There will inevitably come a time when you are forced to live solely off of beans on toast for a week. Eventually, branded food of any kind will be purely a distant memory. You can no longer afford a £2 box of cereal, however when asked to cough up the same amount for alcohol you will do so willingly: £2 for a quadvod? Absolute bargain!
Doing work the night before the deadline
At university you will experience the incredible paradox of seemingly never having anything to do, whilst simultaneously never having enough time to get everything done. This is because student’s are master procrastinators and no matter how good your work ethic you will inevitably find yourself leaving work until the night before the deadline. You fool yourself into thinking that you work better under pressure and will bring out your trump card (“I only need 40% to pass!”) time and time again.
Signing up for societies that you will never go to
It is inevitable that during fresher’s week you will sign up to at least ten different societies, none of which you will ever go to. No matter how good your intentions at the start, after the frenzy of first week excitement passes you will realise that the Tap Dancing Archery Society is actually not for you.
The reality is that the only memories you will have of these societies are their weekly newsletters which clog up your emails. Never mind, ‘Putting yourself out there’ is over rated, who said you can’t become personally enriched just by staying in and watching Netflix?