Why Clubbing is Overrated

You’re in denial


For a lot of students there is nothing better than a night out drinking away the pains of a hard day at university.  However there are also many people that hate the whole thing and secretly hide their inner disgust for the night whenever they get dragged out by their friends or for society socials. Well no more shall this hidden detest be kept private and for those of you that fall into this group of people, this is for you.

Preparing for pre-drinks

Decision, Decisions: There is just too many to choose and they all cost a fair bit too

Decision, Decisions: There is just too many to choose and they all cost a fair bit too

The night hasn’t even begun yet, but thanks to the social convention of pre-drinks requiring you to bring you own drinks, you already have to go out and spend around £10 before you even get to the night out. You know you won’t drink all of what you have bought and whoever is hosting the pre-drinks is going to end up with some free drinks for nothing. Hardly sounds fair but there is nothing you can do about it if you want to drink at pres, leaving you already disgruntled before the night has even begun.

Drinking Games

Ring Of Fire: Just one of many crappy drinking games you will play at pre-drinks

Ring Of Fire: Just one of many crappy drinking games you will play at pre-drinks

So you’ve made it to pre-drinks, everyone is gathered in a room clearly not suitable to have that many people in it at any one time and it’s that time for the drinking games. First there is a 5 minute argument over what people want to play and you’ve never heard of about 90% of the games being suggested. You are not even drinking half the time the rules tell you too because you have come to the realisation that the rules are stupid.

That one guy who is already drunk

Are you serious?: You've only been here for an hour and you're already drunk out of your mind

Are you serious?: You’ve only been here for an hour and you’re already drunk out of your mind

It’s called pre-drinks dude, slow down. The whole idea is that you have a few drinks, have a few laughs and then head out. But there is always that one person that takes it way too far and ends up ruining it for everyone else. They have to be the loudest person in the room and try too hard to be funny. Oh, and they’ve just chundered in your kitchen sink.

Leaving for the club 

Waiting in line: Having to queue outside is just the worst, especially when it is raining

Waiting in line: Having to queue outside is just the worst, especially when it is raining

So it’s finally time to leave pre-drinks and go to the club, but first we need another 10 minutes for our already drunk friend, who by now is so wasted that they can’t make it out of their seat let alone the front door. The walk isn’t actually that bad, but then comes the queue to get in, where you slowly freeze. Secondly, you have to pay just to get in to most clubs. So not only have you forked out for pre-drinks and will inevitably spend more inside, there’s now an entry fee to pay as well. Fair to say your bank account is not too impressed with you right now, and I don’t blame it.

LOUD NOISES!!! 

Brick knows: Mr. Tamland here summing up every club ever in just two words

Brick knows: Mr. Tamland here summing up every club ever in just two words

Everyone is now inside the club, you’ve got your first drink from the bar and you turn to your friends to talk, only to realise you can’t a hear anything thanks to the music. You can’t hear yourself think let alone what everyone else is trying to say. The only way to have a conversation is to literally go right up to someone’s ear in order to be heard and I shouldn’t have to invade personal space to such an extent just to say “You alright?” The music alone is deafening.

 Dancing 

Saturday Night Fever: Everyone thinks they are an amazing dancer when they're drunk

Saturday Night Fever: Everyone thinks they are an amazing dancer when they’re drunk

All of your friends have now seen off their drinks and made their way to the dance floor, all standing in a circle and making some weird sort of body movement that apparently constitutes dancing. The tragedy never ends. Another few drinks suddenly seems like the only way you’ll be able to make it through the rest of the night.

 Losing your friends 

Where is everyone?: Surrounding by strangers and all alone, is there a sadder sight?

Where is everyone?: Surrounding by strangers and all alone, is there a sadder sight?

You’ve gotten yourself another drink and start making your way back to the dance floor to get back to your friends, but somehow they’ve all disappeared into thin air. They were right there, where have they all gone? There was no mention of going anywhere else. The next ten minutes are spent aimlessly wondering around through a drunken crowd, unable to see anyone from your group. Eventually you’ll bump into them in the most random part of the club and when you ask why they walked off without telling you, odds are they were too drunk to notice you were gone in the first place.

Realising pre-drinks was the best part

Take me back: All this seems a distant and happy memory in comparison to the club

Take me back: All this seems a distant and happy memory in comparison to the club

Having been in the club for about an hour now, you’ve come to realise that pre-drinks wasn’t that bad. You now wish to go back in time a few hours just so you can start enjoying yourself again. At least at pre-drinks you can have a normal conversation. It might have seemed crowded back at the house, but it was nowhere near as bad as being surrounded by hundreds of fellow students that are staggering all over the place, spilling beer on you and the one dude that decided your shoes were the best place to throw up.

Whilst clubbing  can turn out to be a half-decent night out on the rare occasion, more often than not it is just a bunch of loud noises and overcrowding with alcohol chucked in for good measure. If you enjoy this sort of thing, then that’s fine by me. I just can’t understand why it’s heralded as being the most amazing part of university. But if you know you hate it and still decide to go out, you can only blame yourself when you start regretting it by the end of the night.