People you’re guaranteed to see in every lecture
We all know you’re still drunk, Anthony.
We’ve compiled the comprehensive guide to all the lovely people you share a few hours a day with:
The hungover one
Wearing sweats, smelling vaguely of Juicy Lucy and clutching a Costa with both hands, you know these people partied slightly too hard at Jesters last night. With their constant complaining and sighs of relief as the lights are turned down in the lecture theatre, it’s a wonder they made it out of bed today at all.
The ‘it’ girl
While you’re still happily slumbering, this girl has been up for hours, painstakingly applying make up from a collection that rivals a flagship MAC store. As a result, you turn up to lectures looking like a wet dog, whilst she could well be off to Paris Fashion Week after a long day at uni. Go figure.
The gym goer
Wearing Nike from head to toe, this trailblazer bounces into the lecture theatre, filled to the brim with self-actualisation and protein shakes. They leave a stench of sweat and Lynx behind in their hurry to be on time for their express-wellbeing-high-intensity-spinning class. Just thinking about it makes you tired.
They stumble down the stairs 40 minutes into the lecture and slump into a seat with no notebook or stationary in sight (although they’ve managed to find the time to grab a coffee on the way). You can’t help but feel slightly bemused about why they bothered to turn up.
Recognisable from their pile of textbooks and extensive note taking, the keeno has made you aware that she’s 3 weeks ahead in the recommended readings and she’s already finished the coursework for this semester. You leave feeling slightly inadequate but also triumphant in the knowledge that you’re definitely having more fun this year.
The lads in the back
You haven’t seen them do any work all term. It’s a miracle they’ve made it this far tbh. #squadgoals#bants#toplads