Tracksuit bottoms are the best thing that’s ever happened to men’s fashion
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Once seen as the staple ‘chav’ item of clothing, it used to be unacceptable to be seen in public wearing tracksuit joggers. unless you strategically carried a gym bag, or were actually jogging, the testicle freeing, grey cotton trousers were a fast track to social pariah.
As you walked down the street people would uncomfortably stare, trying to avoid eye contact. To them you were just as likely to whip out a tinny of Special Brew as you were to rob them for everything they had.
Men either had to wear Jeans, (preferably skinny), chinos, or if required, suit trousers. Joggers were safely confined to the area of ‘loungewear’, to be worn on a hungover Sunday afternoon whilst eating pizza and watching repeats of TopGear.
Then something changed. Suddenly you started seeing people you had previously respected wearing tracksuits in public. Then your friends started wearing them. And now you wear them. You’ve even got the Nike huaraches to match.
There has been a revolution within men’s fashion. It is no longer unusual, or even scary, seeing men wear trackie bottoms, in fact, it’s the best thing to ever happen to men’s fashion, and heres why.
For years men’s sperm count has slowly depleted under the testicular prison that is skinny jeans. As if this wasn’t enough, shops like TopMan introduced ‘super skinny’ and ‘spray on skinny’ jeans. Unless you’re Russell Brand or Noel Fielding does the fashion statement really make up for the uncomfortable rearranging and infertility.
Tracksuit bottoms avoid this problem with their liberating bagginess. Tracksuit’s aren’t afraid to be baggy, they embrace it with pride. With the extra genital breathing space you will no longer have to awkwardly limp to your lecture as your balls are slowly crushed by denim.
This one is pretty self explanatory. Anyone that has ever worn tracksuit bottoms will know the sweet sensation of the cotton rich comfort that surrounds your legs. They don’t just provide you with a little more give in the crotch department, but are so soft that, if it wasn’t for the amazing warmth they provide, you’d forget you were wearing anything at all. Imagine walking through a cloud all day, and you’re still no where close.
The elasticated waist band of jogging bottoms eradicates any past issues created by zips, buttons or buckles. No longer will you have to spend thirty embarrassing seconds doing up all five of the buttons on your flies. The excruciating pain of catching your foreskin in the zip of your jeans will become a thing of the past.
The level of comfort provided also means they are multipurpose. Never has an item of clothing been so diverse. Whether you’re pumping iron at the gym, or pumping doughnuts in to your mouth on the sofa, jogging bottoms are always the most practical and comfortable choice.
They look good
Have you ever wanted an item of clothing that works well as a combination, or individually; whilst creating an ultimate balance between cool relaxation, with an understated ‘ready for anything’ style? Well now you can. Tracksuit bottoms tell the world that you are a laid back individual that still cares about their appearance.
In addition to this, the huge number of brands, designs, and colours allows for variation in your clothing, as well as letting your individuality come through. Why wear black jeans like thousands of other people when you can have a pink camouflage coloured tracksuit? Stormzy would be proud.
Jogging bottoms are also much more complimentary to the male figure, they don’t discriminate between shape, size or race. It doesn’t matter if your skinny or fat in a tracksuit, they still make you look sexy as fuck. Just ask Big Narstie.
It diversifies your wardrobe.
Don’t you hate it when you’re getting ready for a night out and realise you’re going to be wearing more or less exactly what you have been wearing all day.
Unless you’re JME, your wardrobe will not comprise solely of tracksuits, and will most likely still contain jeans and trousers. The only difference is, you now have tracksuits spicing up your everyday life. Whereas before you would have to wear the same jeans out that you wear all day, they can now be preserved for that all important dance floor.
Not only does this mean that your jeans or trousers will be a lot cleaner for your night out, but it brings in a level of distinct diversity to your legs. That fitty from your seminar won’t see you for the tramp that you are when you’re wearing different trousers on a night out.
In the tracksuit the perfect item of clothing has been born. Simultaneously boasting style and practical comfort it appears that jogging bottoms have finally begun to receive the popular recognition they deserve.