Refreshers is pointless – I’ve already met my best friends

I already know I hate parfait, stop telling me to go there

It’s January – you’ve moved away from mummy and daddy and it’s time to go wild. Get out there, make lifelong friends, explore your new city…

Wait a sec. Haven’t we done this already?

Why go through the humiliation again?

The beauty of freshers’ week is getting embarrassingly drunk and acting like an idiot, without people who know you well enough to give you stick for it. Now you actually have friends, save yourself the embarrassment, for all our sakes.


leopard print humiliation

You’ve already got friends.

You met ‘the Squad’ at Jesters during freshers’ week, and now you’re best mates. Your Whatsapp chat is on fire, you go to the Palace of Dreams together every Monday and you’re sharing a house next year. Don’t bother with the faff of making new friends – you’ve already found the dream team.

Squad goals

Squad goals

Loan? What Loan?

You felt minted when student finance dropped back in September, but you burnt it all on quadvods at Sobar and had to survive on baked beans (or the bank of mum and dad, if you were lucky) for the rest of the term. Whoops. Can you really afford overpriced refreshers’ events like Big Night Out and Bloc Party and still eat this term?

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Big exam blowout

Reality check – it’s first year. You only needed 40% so you didn’t revise. You don’t need a big exam blowout, because you have no stress to get rid of! Save it for next year.

Refreshers events are awful.

You spend more time queuing for the clubs than actually clubbing at BNO and Bloc Party. Pointless, freezing, and a complete waste of money. Sort it out, SUSU.

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Next year, I’m going to Jesters every day of the week instead.