Why the THTH penis guy is a hero
You do you, penis guy
It was a normal Saturday morning. I woke up delightfully hangover free, and rolled over to grab my phone for the usual scroll of social media. Having checked Twitter and Instagram, I made my way to Facebook. That’s when I saw it.
In case you missed it, here is what I’m talking about:
For decency’s sake the picture has been blurred. The original was posted here on the infamous University of Southampton Tell Him Tell Her page. For those who can’t put two and two together from the context and the blurred out region, a man on a Unilink bus had a hole in his trackies which left a decent sized portion of his penis exposed.
Let’s go over some facts. It’s not like he had a small hole through which his penis was visible. There’s a relatively large hole in his trousers, and his helmet (which is visibly circumcised, mazel tov) is properly sticking out of it.
There is no way this man didn’t know what was going on. At some point on his journey to or from uni he must have felt a light breeze tickle his sensitive area, or noticed that he suddenly felt a lot more free ‘down there’.
The point I’m trying to get at is that this man, whoever he is, knowingly allowed his penis to displayed on public transport.
You might be crying ‘Pervert!’ or ‘Creep!’ But that’s not what we should be calling this man. This man is a hero. This man is someone who deserves our admiration and respect.
He is someone who is clearly not having the best day of his life. Is that going to stop him from going about his business, or from riding on public transport? Is it fuck. He’s riding the crest of a wave of embarrassment, safe in the knowledge that things can’t get much worse.
This is about more than just a man showing his penis to members of the public. This is symbolic of the struggles we all face on a daily basis, and our ability to shrug them off and carry on. If this man can literally display a section of his penis on a bus and live to tell the tale, surely you can forget that time you had a few too many at pre-drinks and ended up in your mate’s wheelie bin.
Is it effectively public indecency? Sure. Should we be a bit concerned for the guy? Probably. But this shouldn’t prevent us from acknowledging that what the Unilink Penis Guy did was a heroic act. He’s standing up for the downtrodden, championing the often-embarrassed in society.
We don’t see Penis Guy’s face in the picture so his identity remains a secret, but this only adds to his superhero persona. He could be anyone, living and working amongst us, ready to spring into action and reveal all at a moment’s notice.
If you’re reading this Penis Guy, I’m here to tell you that you should ignore the haters. Ignore the ones who would tell you to put your penis back within your clothes, they’re just jealous of your bravado, your courage, your ability to calmly pull off public nudity. You’re the hero we all need, Penis Guy, keep up the good work.