Halls Review: Glen Eyre

You can literally read any article based on halls and just replace the name because, really, all halls are basically the same. Until you move in. It is a truth […]


You can literally read any article based on halls and just replace the name because, really, all halls are basically the same.

Until you move in. It is a truth universally acknowledged that all other halls are the worst and the residents are scum. I lived in Glen Eyre and met a famous guy called Glen on the first night which I think solidified my loyalty, and this is a very subjective look at my time in halls over a year ago which I have been asked to hastily roll out now.

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God bless us, every one.

Glen is huge. In all my time there I never managed to see all of it, and I’m not entirely sure where all of the blocks are. Some blocks are part-catered if you can’t be bothered to cook for yourself or if your parents worry about how you will survive during your first time living away from home.

Some people who go in self-catered blocks really rise to the challenge by cooking up some sort of exotic prawn dish on the first night, and others wind up eating only cold meats and crackers until they’re brave enough to embrace the wok.

Beware self-caterers for the smoke alarms are very sensitive and you could have half the residents out in the cold while attempting to make a Bhuna, which may negatively affect your popularity. Also, always make sure that you’re considerate of the cleaners, most of which are lovely but there are some crazy psycho lemon pledge ones who can make your year there hell.

Glen boasts its very own bar, which I went to once and was overcome by an extremely pungent smell, its very own gym, which I never went to but I heard its kind of gym like, and its very own music room which I also never went to but enjoyed walking past it to hear someone practising the piano or some kind of bulky wind instrument. So though there are a lot of amenities on site, these aren’t really the selling points as the Stags, Highfield gym and your own bedroom could respectively substitute any of these.

Most pre-drinks will happen in your own flat, so you’ll most likely to be restricted to the kitchen while getting plastered. Old Terrace in Glen looked like it had the best set up for pre-drinks with large bottom floor kitchens which could spill over to outside should the need arise. Though as mentioned, I never did see all of Glen Eyre and don’t profess to be an expert on the halls so there is likely a way better pre-drink set up somewhere.

Glen is about a five-minute walk away from Highfield, and maybe a ten-minute walk to Avenue. I’m not sure about Boldrewood because when I was there it didn’t even exist but I imagine it’s somewhere in the middle. However, there will always be a queue for the bus going to campus because people are lazy, deal with it. Even coming back from campus the U2B will be absolutely crowded only for the majority of the passengers to hop off two minutes up the road, much the annoyance and constant bitching of the Bencraft scrubs.

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Not a crime scene, actually the same kitchen as before.

With Glen being so close to campus, it also means that it’s further away from all the action in Portswood, Bedford Place and City Centre. If you’re unwilling to walk you’ll have to meet the taxis by Glen reception, and this will always add a tenner to your night. But really, if not for taxis and drinks in clubs, what are our loans for?

A great thing about Glen Eyre is that because it’s so big and has around two thousand students, If you get lost on a night out, you can almost always find someone willing to share a taxi back. But one of the worst things about Glen Eyre is that because it’s so big and has around two thousand students, trying to use one of the fourteen washing machines can be nightmarish.

Truthfully though, it doesn’t really matter where you go for halls, you will love the ones you get, learn to love the deteriorating buildings and learn to love your flatmates, who after all, are what truly make your time at Uni.

Seriously though, Glen is really quite lovely. And fuck you, Chamberlain.

Check out our other halls reviews:

Did you live in Glen last year? Let us know your experiences in the comments below!