Hartley Hell: Eight things we hate about the library

Seeing as the majority of you are probably in Hartley as you read this, we thought we’d give you a top down list of the reasons you wish you weren’t. […]


Seeing as the majority of you are probably in Hartley as you read this, we thought we’d give you a top down list of the reasons you wish you weren’t.

We all hate the library. The sheer amount of ‘Tell him Tell her’ posts more than proves this. But what is it that specifically grinds our library going gears, I hear you ask. Well…

1. The heat.

We get that they try and make our library experience as relaxing as possible, but a sauna isn’t exactly what we had in mind.

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It is always an extremely unpleasant surprise when you walk through the doors to be met with the searing fires of Hell. Maybe they should set up some ice baths.

2.The smell

Leading on nicely from the heat, is the smell it produces. Who can think of anything worse than being stuck in a boiling hot building with a couple of thousand sweaty students?

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I feel sick

It is near impossible to find a spot in the library where you can escape the glorious smell of eau de BO.

3. The table reservers

I think we can all agree on a hatred for these inconsiderate twats. Picture the scene. You’re on your fourth lap of the library, still unable to find that desk with the plug you so desperately need…

Once again you pass that desk which has been empty for hours, but is ‘reserved’ by some dick’s rucksack.

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Someone is getting murdered…

Maybe we should just cull them?

4. The loud eaters

Now, lets be clear about this, the library should be a food free zone. Unless you have some sort of condition there should be no reason for us to have to put up with you chewing your food like a horse chews a carrot.

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If we wanted to see and hear animals eating, we’d watch the Discovery Channel.

5. The walk to the water fountain

We are paying £9,000 a year to come to this University, where the fuck are the waiters bringing us fresh, ice cold, triple filtered, spring water from some volcanic rock in Scotland?

Look at this piss water

Look at this piss water

It always happens at the worst time. You’re just getting in to the flow and then you run out of water. Well get ready for the marathon journey to the closest watering hole- it’s like the Sahara Desert in here.

6. The vibrating phones

No one cares how much someone is texting you. We all know it’s your mum anyway.

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Just in case you’re as dumb as you look

We don’t want to be distracted by the mini earthquake that is caused from your phone vibrating all over the desk. It’s like the cinema, turn it on silent or turn it off.

7. People complaining on Tell him Tell her

We realise that this is slightly hypocritical, but we don’t care. In fact, we care almost as little as everyone cares about your rant on Tell him Tell her.

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Yes, we already know that the library is very annoying. We don’t need a constant reminder of it every five minutes because you’re pissed off with the group of people talking.

8 – Everything else you tweeted us about

The books are everywhere. It’s just a matter of time before they consume us and take over the world. Like some literary form of Skynet.

There you have it people. We are no longer restricting the hate to just vibrating phones. Your phone is not allowed to make any noise.

Weirdly, I think we can actually relate to this…

Now thats just unoriginal.

We could go on forever, but we don’t want to depress you too much. Good luck with all your assignments and exams!

Let us know what you hate about Hartley Library in the comments section below.