Southampton Sabres Lacrosse don't fancy playing, go to the zoo instead

Southampton Lacrosse pride themselves on their go-getting attitude; self starting, ambitious, and keen to seize the day they never let a rented minibus go to waste. After Cardiff deliberately fire […]


Southampton Lacrosse pride themselves on their go-getting attitude; self starting, ambitious, and keen to seize the day they never let a rented minibus go to waste. After Cardiff deliberately fire hosed their pitch to avoid playing us the team had no choice but to go to the zoo.

Early in the first quarter (of the trip to the zoo) Southampton made themselves known, Benchwarmer Jamie Morton employing some rather distasteful language in front of a group two year olds and ruining repeat offender Jake’s chances of pulling a cougar.

"These fucking Monkeys are having the sickest time!"

“These fucking Monkeys are having the sickest time!”

Settled into their groove, Southampton ploughed ahead to the crow enclosure, probably amongst the least impressive housings of animals at Marwell. Testament to their liberal sensibilities the enclosure is left roofless, to allow the crows to come and go as they please. The Sabres were lucky to catch a few of the elusive crows as they rested up. Southampton closed the half 10 animal viewings  – 1, Cardiff having only seen sheep.

Men's Lacrosse question if crows are really suited to being housed in a zoo environment

Men’s Lacrosse question if crows are really suited to being housed in a zoo environment

Post half time team talk the Sabres decided to up the intensity, blasting through groups of mothers and children to scramble to the forefront of the wallaby enclosure. Sensitive to the plight of other small animals with a poor grasp of English the Wallabies were angered by this, and stared Defender Jake Kelly down for the duration of the quarter.

Probably better at Lacrosse than Plymouth Marjons

Probably better at Lacrosse than Plymouth Marjons

Ever the record breakers Sabres managed a commendable 50 – 1 animals seen in a single sitting over Cardiff away at Marwell, with all players managing to see all the well camouflaged snow Leopards amongst the rocks in the Leopard zone. Cardiff struggled to spot anything other than sheep, because Cardiff is in Wales. Adding insult to injury didn’t even get to pretend to be the shittiest wildlife photographer ever.