Desk Sleeping PLAGUE Returns to Hartley Library

While seat-hunting in the library this Tuesday evening, I spotted a girl with her face in her arms, asleep at her desk. 

Nowadays, public opinion and ‘the law’ have sadly made it impractical to execute these languid desk-blankets on sight (thanks for nothing, liberal-democracy). No, instead this particular brand of student must be convinced to limit their sack time to whatever abominable hole passes for their digs. Though, what horror that lurks there that it would be a less relaxing place to sleep than the house of pain that is Hartley, I don’t know.

Disgusting.

This year, Southampton University is up 7% in its undergrad intake on the last, and 12% if the typically more stable medicine intake is excluded. In the academic year 2012/13, there were quite enough panicked faces walking the halls of Hartley on the lookout for a desk – and this January there are 7% more. Though the foyer of Hartley library has been completely refurbished, adding a shiny new floor and a 7.7% increase (130) in desks to the complex, this is only a 0.7% improvement in the desk:undergrad ratio on last year. This means that desks will still retain their gold-dust status, and sleeping at one means you send a would-be graduate towards the screaming void of failure.

Caught in the act

It can be tempting to lay your head on that luxury plywood and close your eyes; but rather than justifying your imminent homicide drawing the ire of your fellow students, why not take the break you so clearly need? If you won’t utilise your space properly, there are plenty of people wandering around who will.

Quite frankly, if the screams of terror inside your head and lucid visions of your future career in homelessness are not keeping you awake, you are clearly not nearly anxiety-wracked enough to justify your presence.

Do you despise or pity the desk nappers? Are you one of them? Let us know in comments.