REVEALED: New Jesters Cocktails

As term comes to an end, Jesters have expanded their infamous cocktail menu as the Fuzzy Duck is introduced and a few changes are made to the likes of the […]


As term comes to an end, Jesters have expanded their infamous cocktail menu as the Fuzzy Duck is introduced and a few changes are made to the likes of the Jesticle, Juicy Lucy and the Joker.

There certainly isn’t any other drinking establishment like Jesters and its usually the drinks we choose that make it what it is. In keeping with tradition, the team have created a new cocktail to add to the list of ‘drinks that destroy us’ and are really going to be there for us the night of our last exam, that horrific hand in, or to drown your sorrows from the mistakes of the night before.

Not sure if Mango Jesticle, or piss?

The new Fuzzy Duck, based on a traditional cocktail called the Fuzzy Navel, is made up of vodka, Archers and orange. The original Jesticle has also been modified to now come in a mango flavour too, cleverly named ‘The Mango Jesticle’, bringing a bit of summer to your winter. It has been said that the cocktail was created to avoid the deep red clothes stains caused by many vigorous dancefloor movements and to help those unsuccessful in the past, find a mate with their fruity, paradise-like spillage smell, but these rumours are unconfirmed. As of yet, no effect has been found on Jesters shoes. 

These are huge changes for Southampton students with somewhat severe consequences for the Monday night and even more so for the Tuesday morning, as dignity’s are lost, toilets are disgraced and hours of lectures are missed. Lets hope every strike of the year is on a Tuesday from now on.

The only thing thought to counteract the effects of the cocktails are the Chic-O-Land chicken burger (with chilli sauce and lettuce) or the Manzils’ Bombay potato (heated up the morning after). As of yet, the Tab Team are unable to confirm this, however, researchers have found from many previous experiences that a Jesters hangover usually require hugs from your mum, a lot of untagging on Facebook, an hour wrapped around the toilet and three days in hibernation.

Fear not, these new cocktails are sure to help us through the 12 hour Gold Card Challenge and are also know for giving us a confidence boost when completing the 10 things you HAVE to do in Jesters, so give them a try!