Have You Got The Graduate Syndrome?

As their final academic year is coming to a close, many soon-to-be graduates may begin experiencing some of the symptoms of the unfortunate affliction many have begun to call ‘The Graduate Syndrome’.

After thorough research into the parameters of this 21st century phenomena, Urban Dictionary has finally been able to provide the perfect depiction of what many graduating students may be experiencing at the thought of leaving university for good:

An unhealthy obsession with the past and a refusal to live in the present. Symptoms include constant reminiscing about stories, people or events from college despite graduation having taken place in a different century than the one we now live in.

Being a near-graduate myself, I strongly began to identify with this almost ‘scientific’ description of the internal horror I was experiencing at the thought of moving back home. So much so, that I took it upon myself to compile a list of signs or symptoms (if you prefer), of the terrifying affliction that is The Graduate Syndrome.

1. Sticking by the conviction that you are a student, and rightfully so until Graduation day (even though your academic commitments are over; even though you should be looking for jobs).
2. Brainstorming reasons to get in contact with Student Finance again, just so you can ‘relate’ for that extra little bit longer.
3.  Not buying a 4^th Jesticle because you’re building savings for your upcoming period of heavy unemployment.
4. Calling your parents twice a week (instead of the usual once of a month) to ease yourself into the mind-frame of moving back home.
5. Popping into the bank to inquire as to how long your overdraft remains interest free.
6. Using the phrase “it’s gone so quickly” in every 2^nd sentence of every conversation you start.
7. Logging onto the Careers Destinations website for the 2^nd time during your time at university (1^st time being during induction in Freshers Week).
8. Bookmarking the Google Search ‘recruitment agencies’.
9.  Bitterly snapping at freshers in Sobar as you overhear them crying “I can’t believe our first year is over”.
10. Finding out which of your friends is staying on for a 4^th/Masters year and making plans to visit them in September.

Ashamed to admit I based these on what I have noticed of my own behaviour and that of my friends’ over the past two (and more) months, I’ve since come to realise they all hold some kind of truth for almost all graduates, wherever they’re studying. They say university is the best time of your life, naturally leading to the conclusion that anything we do as accomplished, studious individuals henceforth will be only a quarter of the fun with twice the effort.

Despite these grey musings however, I can’t help but remind myself that I felt this way after leaving school and after leaving college, leading me to think that an experience as great as university is just around the corner. One which I’ll enter into with a degree I earned and life lessons I learned from my time as a student (like taking a paracetamol before falling sleep after a night out to avoid a hangover).

So I urge all of you sufferers of the The Graduate Syndrome to do the same: embrace the symptoms, wallow in self-pity for a while and then when you’re done crying into your tri-vod, stop thinking about the end and start thinking about your future and all of the things you want to do with it.

Until then though, heavy reminiscing sessions with fellow to-be-graduates might help your though your aches.