BREAKING: Southampton Student Reveals Underground Train Network

Genius student Alastair ‘Moggy’ Mogford has made the ground-breaking discovery that the city of Southampton boasts its own top secret underground tube network, the mechanics of which he has cleverly compiled into a series of posters that have been sold in aid of RAG’s ‘Big Give’ this week.

The Southampton Tube Network will consist of 5 different lines. Photo: Alastair Mogford.

The network consists of five separate lines, stretching from Southampton General Hospital, to Portswood, to the infamously far away Odeon Cinema Complex and Oceana.  Unconventional stops such as the Common’s Fish Pond and Behind The Library are also included, whilst additional stations at Dominos on the Avenue and Jesters suggest that the unknown creator of the network set it up with students at the forefront of his/her mind.

This discovery has come as a real surprise to the people of Southampton.

I’ve lived here practically all me life’, The Waitrose Singing Lady told The Tab. ‘And I’ve never once heard the sound of a train under me feet. Remarkable what technology can do, innit? Speaking of Train, this is not a drive by ah ah ah ah…’

“It’s a miracle!’ the Christian Hotdog Man added.

Rumours regarding the mastermind of the network are rife, and notorious names such as SUSU the Cat, Tariq Manzil and the University’s very own Vice-Chancellor, Don Nutbeam, have all been considered. Pioneer Mogford has denied his own involvement in the network’s construction. He claims he is but the messenger of what will no doubt become the biggest craze to hit Southampton since the arrival of Sprinkles, and will inevitably put Uni-Link out of business.

In the words of our Sports Ed, Peter Shaw: ‘the red line looks like an absolute dream’

Whether future first year students receive a free Oyster card included in the price of their halls remains uncertain, for the official opening of the network has not yet been announced. One thing is for sure though; with his face etched on every train, Mogford will remain a hero in the city for years to come.