Valentines Special: Ways To Ask Someone Out

Valentines day is fast approaching (and with it, the all important re-opening of Roosters). So to avoid spending it watching Bridget Jones with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s and a bottle of white wine (or is that just me?), here are some creative ways you could use to ask out that special someone in time for some valentine’s day romance, or for just some light hearted golddigging.

Despite the resemblance to me, this is actually a picture of Renee Zellweger in Bridget Jones

1) A simple ‘Drink tonight?’ will suffice, not too keen, not too cool. Try sending it via text, suggesting the funky Turtle Bay or The Slug and Lettuce to imply your wealth put really only going for 2-4-1 cocktails.

2) Or Facebook or Twitter, but only if you are prepared for public humiliation.

3) If your text didn’t work, try WhatsApp or BBM. All the cool kids have got it.

She’d pull for less

4) Try Google+. If you’re really up for it, set them up an account, and then use it to ask them out. They’ll be flattered that you took the time to put them on such an important and widely used social network.

5) Carrier pigeon. There are usually enough around campus, if not, you can use a duck from the pond, or in a real struggle, the SUSU cat.

6) Leave a note on the windscreen of their car. If you want to make sure they definitely read it and don’t just peel it off, make it look like a parking ticket. Creativity is very attractive, and all students enjoy the brief moment of panic when they think they have to spend money.

7) Organise some skywriting. There just isn’t enough skywriting in the world anymore, and it’s a real shame. If it’s cloudy – which, being Southampton, it usually is – get one of those planes with a banner attached instead.

Cute is the new sexy

8) Plan a flashmob. Imagine it now, you’re walking across the concourse when out of nowhere, 50 people surround you, sing you a romantic song in eight-part harmony, and then ask you out on behalf of your admirer – who is going to say no after that? Especially since it would be in no way embarrassing or over the top.

9) Get photographed receiving a blowjob on Jesters dance floor, making sure you’re holding a sign saying ‘Drink tonight, (their name)?’ If When the photo goes viral, they’ll see it, be blown (no pun intended) away by your efforts, and probably end up paying for the date themselves.

For now, good luck! Whichever way you decide to go, these are all fail-safe methods, with little to no foreseeable way to hinder your cause, so you shouldn’t need luck.

And how not to land yourself a date