Sports Review 2012

You may not believe it but there was actually quite a lot of sport going on other than the Olympics this year.  Here’s a quick glimpse at what happened and some stuff you probably missed.

Football

So Man City bought their way into the league, Chelsea bored their way to the Champions League and England did well to survive 120 minutes of football against Italy before the inevitable shocking penalties. Stewart Downing narrowly missed out on being nominated for the Ballon d’Or, Joey Barton has taken up a job as an interpreter in the EU and apparently Messi didn’t break the record according to some Zambian FA guy.

But move over Richard Keys,  Andy Gray and women in football; Sky Sports’ current employees now treat us to the Spanish art of ‘goalgasms’. Chelsea’s semi-final certainly won’t be remembered for its football but for Gary Neville’s celebration to Torres’s goal (whether it was just that Fernando had scored or Chelsea had made the final, it is still unknown). He ejaculated an almighty scream when the lazy Spaniard scored, leaving viewers worrying for whoever sat in front of him.

Not to be outdone, Neville’s colleague Martin Tyler joined the over-excited reactions when one of the Sheikh’s overpaid strikers meant the blue side of Manchester won the title. 2013 may be the season when more commentators decide this is the way forward – this may be unfortunate for Neville if City win trophies as he’s going to have to start faking them, although I’m sure he can get some tips from his wife.

Cricket

Warwickshire won the County Championship – bear with me – West Indies won the World Twenty20 (or party with a bit of slogging for people pre 1990) and England were more up and down then a toilet seat. Kevin Pietersen once again made the headlines by first correctly pointing out Nick Knight knows naff all about test cricket, followed by the infamous messages to his fellow South Africans. But it’s all ok now because KP has gone through a period of ‘rehabilitation’ and has been rested for a future ODI series so he’s fresh for the IPL… oh, and the cricketing world even jumped on the dance craze of 2012, with the Windies celebration of being world champions:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doDLNrezvjc

(Not a patch on the sprinkler though)

Rugby

Leinster and Harlequins took the honours in Europe and England respectively but it’s the international scene where the shocks really were. Wales managed to go from 6 Nations winners to losing to man-eaters Samoa, then England made New Zealand look very sheepish. More and more players are moving to France (foolish but unfortunately not illegal) for more money, with Wales seemingly suffering the worst of this exodus. Southampton can look forward to the 2015 World Cup with St Mary’s set to host rugby giants such as transvestites Romania and Tonga. Finally Sam Vesty went all Jim Levenstein with this celebration for Bath:

Formula 1

Vettel, Red Bull and Southampton Uni’s own Adrian Newey won it all again, Alonso showed he’d be competitive in  a Vauxhall Astra and Hamilton made one of the weirdest career choices in Formula 1. The return of Kimi Raikkonen though brought nearly as much excitement as the racing. The Iceman has always had a unique way with words but his radio conversations on the way to his win in Abu Dhabi.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8X1O811pWA

He then proceeded in the last race of the season, amid the huge battle between Caterham and Marussia to not finish 11th in the championship, to get lost around Interlagos and take to an escape road which seemed to heading  towards Sao Paulo. Coincidently Brazil is where Kimi came out with his most famous one liner which he happen to quote himself in his victory speech in the UAE:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MlsMVzrp2o

Tennis

Britain’s Andy Murray finally ended 76 years of hurt by winning the US Open after doing his best to throw it away, Scottish style. He even managed to break out a smile at one point. Djokovic, Nadal and Federer all won a grand slam each while the Czech Republic beat a Spanish side minus Nadal to take the Davis Cup (GB outperformed themselves by beating the mighty Slovakia). On the women’s side Emile Heskey claimed another 2 grand slams leading a group of Southampton Uni’s students to purchase www.emileheskey.com. GB improved well this year with Laura Robson being our best girl in years to stand up to the Russians in the look stakes since Sue Barker.

Some other Sports

Sir Wiggo won the pretty boring Tour de France down to the lack of drugs, Ryder Hesjedel took the Giro and Contador completed his 2 year in 6 months to win the Vuelta. Team Sky may have dominated many of the season’s races, but Greenedge joined the music lipdubs with their version of the now cheese classic:

The Ryder Cup actually made golf look interesting, or may have just been the fact that everyone likes to get one over the Yanks. In darts, James Wade became pregnant and Phil Taylor continued to dominate. Snooker remained the same with middle-aged men playing with their sticks, highlight being this incident when the referee had a slippery ball:

Chris Holder took the World Speedway title, Martin Fourcade piped Svendsen to the Biathlon World Cup and the night Ricky Hatton retired for a second time, there was a better fight in the Mitre.