Southampton Reveals its Dirty Little Secrets
It’s been over a month since we stumbled across the Facebook page, Southampton Uni Confessions, where Southampton students have been revealing their deepest, darkest and dirtiest secrets. We thought that […]
It’s been over a month since we stumbled across the Facebook page, Southampton Uni Confessions, where Southampton students have been revealing their deepest, darkest and dirtiest secrets. We thought that it was about time we gave you a little recap of the highlights!
1) “I ate a sandwich on level 5 of Hartley Library”
2) “I take books out of the library that my mates want just to stop them doing work”
3) “I went to parfait the other night and took my dad, he came from mexico to see me…. he pulled….I didnt”
4) “I was being chased by a wasp down Portswood highstreet (A wasp, in November!!!) and in the panic not to be stung i tripped over a tramp.”
5) “I steal paper from the library to use for my own printer”
6) “In Jesters, my friend asked at the bar if there were any ‘nuts or olives to nibble on’ in a very serious manner.”
7) “I’ve gone home with a 9/10 but woken up with a 2. Oh Jesters.”
8 ) “I once entered the exit door of the Union Shop then went the wrong way round the one-way system…”
9) “When all the susu voting goes on, I just vote for the fittest or least irritating ones.”
10) “The guy I was getting with had a cheeky boner. I proceeded to whisper ‘Are you touching cloth?’ into his ear, thinking it meant an erection and I was being super sexy.”
11) “I secretly hope a hot girl is at the other end of Uni Confessions and reading all my made up stories about how awesome my life is. As a result: she falls in love with me and waits for me at Jesters every night (according to my stories: that’s the place where I am at least 36 days a week, pulling 15/12-girls twice a night and dodging fatherhood since 1998). But she won’t find me there, because I’m a boring fatty and sit at home and make up stories for SouthamptonUniConfessions.”
12) “After a particularly messy sesh I was stumbling home when I came across a badly parked dominoes pizza delivery car. Deciding that this poor parking was intolerable I endeavoured to rectify this situation by getting in (it still had the engine running) and reverse parking it on the nearest drive. When the irate delivery man came running and yelling, I hugged him and told him to “watch out round here, there’s all sorts of nutters around” and then toddled off.”
Thank you Southampton for submitting all of your foul and sometimes unbelievable confessions. You’ve kept us entertained and successfully helped us procrastinate through the looming dark nights and gruelling long hours in Hartley. For that, we salute you.