20 things you will probably have done by second year

Another year is over and the reality of second year and “real work” have begun to sink in. But as you’re psyching yourself up for all that knuckling down, spare […]

Another year is over and the reality of second year and “real work” have begun to sink in. But as you’re psyching yourself up for all that knuckling down, spare a thought to your first year. For those about to embark on uni life or for those who have lived the dream already, Here’s some scenarios that I’m sure you – or someone you know of – will experience at least once:

1. Told yourself you are going to work hard in first year no matter what anyone else has said, only to go and hand in your first essay two hours before the deadline, scrape a pass and told yourself its only first year!

2. Lived by the phrase “it’s only first year, it doesn’t count”, reassuringly backed up by every second year telling you “not to be fussed about revision” because – unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past year and haven’t heard – first year does not count”. Comprende?

3. Used and abused the phrase #YOLO. Example: “Stay in and revise? Nahh let’s go swimming naked in the river! #YOLO!”
Well hey, you only live once…

4. Read more memes about lectures than actually going to them yourself. “Le me on the first day like “yeah! I want to learn something” *8 months later* “HA, it’s only first year!”
…Don’t lie to yourself, you did it too!

5.Like a school child, done your lecture prep on the bus five minutes before you’re due to discuss it in a seminar, bearing in mind that you were given plenty of notice for this topic in the semester outline six weeks ago.

6. Signed up to a load of societies at the Bunfight just so you could go along to the free taster sessions and then never bother again – although now of course they have your email for the year. Brilliant.

7. Downed the King’s cup in ‘Ring of Fire’ – cue the Mighty Chunder Dragon.

8. Owned a Jesters card and been way too proud of it.
– Pffft it’s all about the Jesters Gold Card now baby!

9. Attended Jesters Monday and Sobar Tuesday in the same week, and then gone back again Friday and Saturday because you’re that hardcore.

10. Missed Wednesday morning lectures because you were plagued with the effects of the Jesters and Sobar combo.

11. Not turned up to Thursday lectures because you were still feeling the effects of the Sobar doubles/triples.


12. Endured the horrors of the halls fire bell going off in the small hours of the morning.
– Another great excuse for missing a morning lecture! (Block record of two in two days, both set off by guests in our flat at the time.)

13. Had an all flat Chair Jousting / Frying Pan Ping Pong/ other inappropriate use of kitchen utensil or bedroom furniture game. More productive than any revision.

14. Moved someone’s bedroom around (or to another room entirely) / switched people’s food cupboard contents around – then slept in fear for the rest of the year!

15. Been properly fraped, and I don’t mean the very original “I can’t hide it any more guys: I’m gay” kind of frape, but subtle ones that deceive everyone.
A special thanks to a certain flatmate of mine for skilfully misleading 45 facebookers into thinking I’d passed my driving test for a second time and started a diet blog with Beyoncé as my inspiration.
                                                               *Not quite ready for this jelly!

16. Tried getting the U1C from Monte to campus at half eight in the morning. ‘Nuff said.

17. Been to the play park. If you lived in Monte you’ve got no excuse! (We recommend the one by Sainsburys)

18. Stood firmly behind a campaign (i.e. ‘Save The Hobbit’/ ‘Anti-Kony’ etc): had an outraged conversation with another outraged person about it a day later, joined the facebook group, liked the facebook page and accepted the facebook protest event invite, only to then forget about it two days later – unless there was a meme in which case, it might have been three.

19. Made an absolute twat of yourself as a result of irresponsible consumption of alcoholic beverages on a uni weekend abroad – just me? Zut alors!

20 . Written about your first year experience, whether that be blogging, a newspaper article or a procrastination status on facebook at some point or other throughout the year. There are certain things you can only get away with guilt free in first year: “buuuuut I’m just a lowly innocent fresher!!”