Grad Ball Not Your Style? Find An Alternative!

There are those among us who, despite wanting to see our graduations out in style, don’t particularly feel like making our way to Oceana for the Grad Ball. This could be for any number of reasons: the £50 ticket, the fact that Oceana is essentially a polished turd, or even that you simply don’t feel like getting suited and booted with your friends and reckon there’s a less poncey way to say goodbye to Southampton Uni.

FIFTY QUID?! How on Earth am I going to afford the other half of these glasses?!

With that in mind, we’ve thrown together a few alternatives to help you celebrate your passage from your fuzzy, warm education into a cold, unfeeling, heartless world.

Crash It!
The first thing you might consider is crashing the venue and trying to scab your way in somehow. Not the easiest solution, I’ll grant you, but if you spent all your ticket money on Jesticles it’s an option.
And hey, since you’re already sneaking in uninvited, why not do something outlandish while you’re there? For starters, try changing into a morphsuit/onesie/mankini and strut your stuff in front of Pixie Lott.
If you’re embarking on this risky adventure with some friends, develop a points system for how much trouble you can cause with an extra 100 added to the total for anyone who survives the night without being kicked out.
We absolve ourselves of any and all responsibility if you are caught attempting to do something this stupid.

House Party
The time honoured tradition of pissing away your security deposit with a large group of friends and various random punters from all around Portswood, who just happened to be walking by, is always a good idea.
Consider making it a themed party so that absolutely everyone besides you and your housemates can promptly ignore it and show up wearing whatever they want, while you stumble about in a toga filled to bursting with cheap Polish lager.
Also be sure to tell everyone to bring their own booze so that they can ignore that too and drink you out of house and home.

Livestock: The Alternative Grad Ball
If you live near Lodge Road, drop by The Bent Brief for Livestock from 6pm.
Organised by an individual with little love for SUSU and anything related to it, Livestock will feature a BBQ and a series of live music performances from local acts.
This is perfect for anyone who spent their years making friends in Southampton by drinking themselves to death on the pub circuit, having to put up with the likes of (that total bellend) Garyoke and other such rubbish.

Jesters
Jesters. You don’t even need friends for Jesters. Go and make some new ones that you’ll probably never meet again. The Palace of Dreams seems to operate within a different dimension to ours, in that if you bump into someone for the first time and don’t end up leaving with them, you will only EVER encounter them again if you head back to the venue on another night.
It’s got to the point where I’m convinced there are a few people who just live there. That’s meant to be a joke but it’s worrying that I honestly think it’s not far from the truth.
Anyway, what better way to kiss your degree goodbye than ruining your new shoes and probably getting jizzed on in Southampton’s most infamous nightspot?

King Charles
King Charles is playing live at Cellar (formerly Soul Cellar) in town. A bit niche since I can’t imagine you’d be all that bothered unless you’re a fan but the music is solid and the venue’s pretty nice if a little pricey.
Southampton has a vibrant live music scene, give something back before you leave by showing everyone just how pretentious you are!

Stay In
Grab 2 bottles of Lambrini or a few cheap lagers, invite some friends round (or don’t), rent or illegally download a trashy but watchable movie and order some pizza.
When you inevitably get sleepy come 10.30pm, grab a cup of hot chocolate and hit the hay you sad, lethargic, infuriatingly self-content wanker.

Pretend You Went
Get glammed up and sit in your room alone with a bottle of cheap vodka and some supermarket Cola from Aldi listening to loud, soulless chart tunes and pretending to have a good time.
To fully simulate the event, flush a £50 note down the toilet and then an additional £2 for every double you consume. If you can convince some friends to join you (God forbid), compete to see who wastes the most money.

So there you have it! I hope this is a good starting block for your own plans on the fateful evening, feel free to mention anything I might have missed in the comments!