Fancy a FRAPE? Tab Top Tips

Bored in the library? Study buddy on a toilet trip? Facey-b left logged in? Try these out for size….

* Change the language: Chinese, Irish, Pirate, even upside down English….the harder to reverse, the better.

* ‘Inspirational’ statuses. Google ‘meaningful love quotes’ and watch the likes come rolling in! Tab fave: ‘Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person’. N’awwwr, dis iz well cute bbz!!

* Advertise their property. Clothes, car, pet…whatever takes your fancy!

* ‘For every like I get I’ll donate £1 to charity’. Simple, yet brilliant.

* What’s in a name. One Tab-er tells of an unfortunate person who’s name was changed to Jason Derulo so many times that it has now become irreversible, another of the ingenious decision to call a friend ‘Kate Middleton’ around the time of the Royal Wedding…just imagine the friend requests.

* The injury frape. ‘Stuck in A&E…knew I shouldn’t have vaulted that Hartley library angel statue’ Classic.

* A new job: Don’t just stick down ‘prostitute’, get creative. ‘Head of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Department at the Ministry of Magic’ for instance, or as I recently tried out on my sister ‘Actress at The Woman in Black,London’. Combine with a relevant status (‘SO happy I just got talent spotted!’) for maximum impact.

* Events. ‘Open House Party’, ‘Leaving Uni’ (‘So I failed my exams and am off to Solent next year, would love to see you for goodbye drinks’), ‘Girlfriend/Boyfriend Auditions’ and for the more daring: ‘Threesome’ (invite 2 girls/guys of your choice, the more awkward the better) are all effective choices.

* ‘People you may know’….add them. Add them ALL. Throw a few creepy randomers into the equation too and it’ll be like freshers all over again.

* Me, myself and I: Change someone’s default privacy settings to ‘Only Me’ and watch them gradually sink into depression when no-one comments on ANYTHING they post.

Happy fraping tab-ers!