How to Enjoy a Break-Up

Let’s face it; whether it’s clean or messy, whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee, or whether you’re happy/not so thrilled with your new found singleness, the end of a […]


Let’s face it; whether it’s clean or messy, whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee, or whether you’re happy/not so thrilled with your new found singleness, the end of a relationship is never an excellent experience.
Some people get off with an easy “it’s been fun – Seeya!” and others get restraining orders…

There really isn’t a 10 step ‘how to’ guide for these things (I’m sorry – don’t stop reading now!).
But why not follow these simple guidelines to help you on your way to happy non-psychotic-freedom*.

Do: Be calm. Think about the situation rationally; obviously this has happened for a good reason (even if you can’t see it at the time) and you should keep sight of that.

Don’t: Go around in your pj’s telling everyone you see that your ex has as a third nipple/a hairy back/’a Jesters related infection’, etc(unless of course it’s true – the world should be warned).

Do: *** Top tip from my expert-at-bad-relationships source: If you need to, talk about it. Grab your ex (not literally) and be honest about what you’re thinking.
You’re probably both semi-mature adults, I think you can handle this.

Don’t: If you still have to see each other regularly, please do not make it a scene. Try not to make everyone feel even more awkward than they already do – your friends love you, but they just want to have a quiet pint.

Do: Hang out with your friends. It’s guaranteed to take your mind off things and put a smile on your pretty face. Plus, spending 3 weeks locked in your room is never a good idea.

Don’t: Rebounds are ok for some, but for the majority of you; that person you met at the bar in Jesters, does not want to see you cry; and you’ll probably feel worse in the morning.

Do: If rebounds are the route for you, cool. Just make sure it’s not your ex’s best mate/ cousin/ housemate/ lecturer/ hairdresser.

Don’t: OBVIOUSLY, you should avoid turning into a crazy person. Tears are fine (you can always just pretend they’re allergies), but constant balling/clinging onto your now-ex’s ankle screaming ‘NEVER LEAVE ME’ is not highly recommended.

Do: Go do something fun and new!! Go shopping, join a society, book a holiday, take up a sport – heck, even invent your own sport. You’ve probably been landed with a lot more free time on your hands – so go out and live, this is not the end of the world!

*Guidelines are 72% foolproof. The Tab does not accept responsibility for any mishaps.