THE DANGERS OF ACADEMIA: STUDENT IMPALED BY FOLDER
Girl BRUTALLY ASSAULTED by her own filing system.
Last Saturday started out like any other day for first year nursing student Rachel, 18. She had a busy day ahead of her as she made preparations for a Christmas meal with her flatmates whilst getting ready for a big night out in Portsmouth. However, her day took a sudden turn for the worse when she accidentally trod on a closed ring binder, which somehow came open and impaled her foot.
Hearing Rachel’s cries, her flatmates called Glen Eyre reception, only to be told “nobody on duty has got any first aid training, you’d better call an ambulance bruv”. An hour passed before two paramedics finally arrived on the scene, only to inform Rachel that they would need to call back up due to the complex nature of her injury. Almost another hour of agonising pain went by before the Hazardous Area Response Team arrived at South Hill – this brought the total up to 6 paramedics and 3 ambulances. They tore up Rachel’s blood stained notes and cut away the rest of the folder, leaving only the clamp still sticking out the bottom of her foot.
After being whisked away to hospital, Rachel was taken into surgery where doctors were able to remove the remnants of the ring binder. However, she had to endure endless bad jokes (“you’re on ward A4, geddit!?”) and numerous doctors and nurses who wanted to have a peek at the “foot-folder girl”. To top it all off, it turned out Rachel was staying on the ward where she will later spend her nursing placement in January – so she’s already bracing herself for the inevitable banter which will ensue.
However seasoned party girl Rachel didn’t let her accident stop her from having a good time. She still made it (albeit on crutches) to Portsmouth to see her boyfriend before a messy night out on the town.