Cube Firing Blanks?

Fresher Ben Hansen Hicks gives us his take on The Blanks’ performance at Twisted.

So… Friday night was fun, yeah? After their hit performance last year, frequently described as “out of this world”, “unbelievable” and “one-of-a-kind”, The Blanks returned to Southampton once more, taking to the stage for Friday night’s Twisted event at the Cube.

Doors opened at 10pm but, as tickets were scanned and hands were stamped, the vast throngs of Scrubs fans and A-Cappella aficionados were informed that the Blanks (a.k.a. Ted’s Band) would not be on stage until 12.30am, with Chris from the Scott Mills Show in place to warm the crowd up until then.

But, as the Cube’s re-entry policy was non-existant, most of the night was spent waiting around for the band to arrive.

12.30am came and went, and with promises of their imminent arrival postponed to 1am, the packed basement quickly thinned out as everyone flocked to the bar once more to grab a last minute drink but, as the minutes crept by, the arrival of the awkward musical stars of Scrubs was postponed yet again, leading to a wave of palpable dismay, and anger, rippling through the ever dwindling crowd.

Then, finally, at 1.15am, the Blanks walked on stage to a roar of excitement, but with only 2 out of 4 mics working, another precious 5 minutes were lost while the technical problem was fixed.

Just 3 songs and 14 minutes in, the band came to the end of “Teenagers Forget Streisand Because the Only Girl is Cooler than Dynamite” (a Katy Perry, Cee-Lo, Duck Sauce, Rihanna and Taio Cruz medley) and promptly walked off stage.

Initially the reaction was of shock and surprise, but as the DJ took back the microphone (one of the better ones no doubt), this quickly turned to disbelief, anger, and loud booing… Was this it? 3 hours of waiting, buying drinks and standing around for 15 minutes of fame, it seemed that we were now the butt of an awful joke at our expense.

Not only had we waited until 1.15am for the band to arrive, but we had also just been subjected to an infuriatingly short, 15 minute set – could this night get any worse?!
Short answer is yes. After ¾’s of the crowd headed for the stairs and the chance to meet the band, we remained queuing for another 20 minutes before I noticed a security guard leaning over to a fan feverishly clutching a poster ripped from a nearby wall, saying that there would be no signings tonight, just one photo opportunity per person, lasting a total of roughly 2 minutes.

As a Fresher, this is the second time I have attended events at the Cube, after the Fresher’s Welcome Party, and also the second time I have been completely disappointed with the organization and outcome of the event.

No wonder that, by this time, nearly all Freshers have left the Cube behind in favour of the likes of Sobar, Jesters and Clowns – who wants to be ripped off by expensive drinks and bad gigs at your own SU or get trashed and have an amazing night on £1.50 triples at Sobar?

Your call, but I’m not heading back to the Cube any time soon.

Editors’ note: We’re more than happy to publish an alternative perspective on the state of entertainment at the Union, providing the piece is legible and interesting.