Tomorrow's World: Making Love to your Computer

Combining technology and sex leads to bloody strange results.

Technology is often amazing and frightening simultaneously. We all spend hours plugged into various gismos which are useful, entertaining and frustrating in equal measures. Like it or not, it is increasingly pervasive and intrusive. We get our directions from satellite maps, we do our banking online and some people probably spend more time communicating via social networking than face to face. But how far is this going to go? With the social acceptance of various- ahem- self help devices in recent years perhaps the most personal aspects of our lives are being encroached upon. Gadgetry is entering into that most primal of areas: our sexual habits. I’m not here to judge, but this couple of oddities definitely made me have a WTF moment.

I don’t want to get all emo on you or whatever, but we all know that kisses can be pretty special. So if you’re in a long distance relationship or don’t have access to Jesters and its festering promiscuous dancefloor horde, perhaps this could be an alternative option…perhaps…

Sperm donation is a complicated business. Not only will donors potentially have fifty kids knocking on their door sometime in the future all asking for money and bicycle riding lessons, the actual donation process probably requires sniper like skills. So some enterprising bod has built this rather sinister piece of kit. I can imagine it now, sat next to the scales and passport photo machines in Asda:

Combining these two products will provide an experience that I’m sure will feel just like the real thing. Well, for the select few who are used to sleeping with Daleks anyway (I dread to think what will happen if I google that). As a polite, Hugh Grant mode Englishman I’m the last person to reinforce cultural stereotypes, but I can’t say I’m surprised by which part of the world all this weird stuff has come from. Mind you, some people are so attached to their laptops (hello Apple fanboys of Hartley library, does the little light up logo really make girls’ knickers fall down?) that it wouldn’t surprise me if this caught on. The prospect is a little worrying.