Wedding Special: Royal Porn & Royal Light Opera

I’m supposed to be having a break from The Tab this Easter in order to dig my way out of the essay mountain I’m currently trapped under. But a couple of things have come up which seemed too good to keep to myself- and I figured everybody could do with some light entertainment given that we’re heading into exam season (DON’T PANIC!)

The hot topic in the news at the moment is of course the fact that two attractive, wealthy individuals are going to get married whilst us plebs all have barbecues and try to avoid thinking about how broke we are. Everyone is rightly indifferent about the whole thing, apart from the Yanks of course (no, she didn’t have to try and sleep on a stack of mattresses covering a pea- you so ten thousand and LATE). Considering the amount of media coverage this shebang is getting the Internetz has been remarkably silent, but these two royal related hot potatoes are certainly worth sharing:

First up we have an a cappella take on the occasion from a bunch of sharp dressed St Andrews bods. This is simply magnificent: the vocals, the dancing and the production itself are all superb. I want the best bits of this looped over a Dnb backing track immediately. What more is there to say? Watch in awe:

And here’s a bit of midweek PG smut for you… as anybody who has even been near a computer before knows, if something exists on any plane of reality there is a blue version of it out there on the internet somewhere (that’s Rule 34, kids). This is only a trailer so there’s no need to get your knickers in a tangle; it’s all relatively family friendly- but it does seem a little bit wrong. This must be what the Hollyoaks cast do in their spare time. To quote a well known Southampton online celebrity though, “look past the porn”: the actor playing Prince Charles has his default “my head’s utterly empty” expression down to a tee. Whatever, check it out for yourself:

Anyway, God save the Queen and all that.