‘Get Involved’ with SUSU…or be viciously MAULED to death by Dogs.

Take a casual stroll around the concourse, and behind the Cube you will notice the following sign:

Perhaps it’s just a group of loveable poodles….? Or perhaps not…

‘Caution, dogs may be patrolling’. Now, far be it for me to criticise SUSU’s ruling powers, but doesn’t this seem just a little hypocritical? Obviously, security is a paramount concern around campus. After all, SUSU cares deeply about our well-being, or so they’d have us believe. But aren’t the barely-ever-there security bus and the occasional old men roaming around in their University of Southampton stamped golf-buggies and luminous gilets enough? Evidently not.

As people ignoring ‘keep off the grass signs’ and eating on Floor 5 of the Hartley Library become ever more prominent, it seems more drastic measures must now be taken in order to combat so-called student ‘crime’.

Measures, that is, in the form of a troop of savage, deliberately underfed Rottweilers (or so I imagine), no doubt with freshly-sharpened teeth and spiked collars, eager to lacerate such blatant student rule-breakers.

Then again, it could all just be a groundbreaking and innovative ploy thought up by the newly-elected Sabbs for encouraging more regular attendance at ‘I <3 College’ and ‘Twisted’. If so, I’m in.