So Who’s Going to Win The Apprentice?

So week 8 saw Mr Popular, Christopher “Sex Sells” Farrell shown the exit. With all the dead wood gone, the show finally seems like an actual competition, rather than the BBC’s plot to prevail over football in the midweek ratings. Although it is difficult to comprehend how Laura would stand any chance against the likes of Liz in the boardroom, series 6 has provided us with a plethora of characters, which has lead me to foreshaddow the rest of the competition from what I’ve seen over the past 8 weeks…

WEEK 9- BUYING TASK

Stuart uses his wheeler-dealer and cheeky- chappy approach to argue his way to Project Manager. Using his arrogance and assertiveness, he annoys retailers into selling him the desired products at ridiculously low prices, eventually winning the task- Despite Laura’s best efforts to moan her way into playing a pivotal role in the victory. Unsurprisingly, Chris finds himself warming the seats in the board room, and, once again, flutters his eye lashes back to the house. Jamie’s gung-ho approach to the task sees him pay high prices in order to complete the list, with Lord Sugar marking the end of this contestant’s decline with a, “with regret” firing.

Is Lord Sugar taking bribes from Karen Brady?- Chris survives once again, and lives to tell the tale.

WEEK 10

In a bid to get serial- whiner and hindrance, Laura, as far away from his empire as possible, Lord Sugar switches the 22 year old to the other team, where she will no doubt stick out like a sore thumb amongst sharper tools in the box, Liz and Chris. Realising that this task could be the straw that breaks this Warwickshire camel’s back, Laura project manages, and loses, ensuring a boardroom showdown with forever losing Chris. Having overstayed her welcome in the show, the girl who manages to say “shit” 10 times in 5 seconds, is rightly fired.

WEEK 11

Entertaining or Annoying? Stuart Baggs has divided the public.

Who knows what this task will entail? As one of the final tasks, it should be the interview stage, signalling the eagerly awaited return of Margaret Mountford grilling the remaining 5 contestants. Each candidate will stutter and boast their way through their questions, struggling to create a good account of themselves. Yet, whatever the outcome, 11 weeks of Stuart is about 9 weeks too much. It’s time to say “hasta la vista gravy” to Stuart, and his white sausage.

WEEK 12

Depending on whether producers want a 4-way final (series 4) or the more traditional 2-way, this could well be the last show. My money would be on the latter, given last years high viewing figures when Yasmina locked horns with Kate. Under much pressure and scrutiny, the penultimate show sees Naomi return to her bull-in-a-china-shop tactics. Much like Stuart, one big mouth is too many in the boardroom, with Naomi shown the door. She  is closely followed by series 6’s eye candy, Chris, whose pouting lips, piercing blue eyes and remarkably hairy chest, are not fitting in Lord Sugar’s empire. That, and the fact he’s lost far too many tasks.

THE FINAL

Back from the dead- Melissa returns to haunt the finalists.

Liz, and her ridiculously high sales figures, is left to battle it out with the winner of the most tasks, Maria Sharapova, sorry, Stella, in another all-female final. A fiercely close contest of well organised teams, innovative ideas, slick negotiating and impressive pitching, leaves Lord Sugar with his toughest decision yet. However, approximately 2 days earlier, when faced with selecting a team out of previous contestants, Liz experiences that awkward moment when you’re left with Melissa on your side. Upon trying to dominate and project manage the task herself, Melissa inadvertently hands victory to Stella.

Game, Set, Match, Stella!