Shall I stay with my celibate boyfriend?

Jack and Jim on no sex before marriage.

Dear Jack and Jim

I’ve recently broken up with my no sex before marriage Christian boyfriend but I still have feelings for him and I don’t know whether I should make another (sexless) attempt? Thanks  (Amy 2nd year)

Thanks for your question Amy. This is an interesting one as it’s quite rare for a guy of around twenty to not want to have sex. Personally, and from your question we think you are tempted to agree, we would find it hard to be with someone and commit to them without having sex.

Sex is a key part of any relationship and by not having it you can both miss out on the closeness that this brings, not to mention it feels really good. On the other hand if you feel that you are in love with this guy and could honestly see yourself marrying him then it might be worth waiting.

However at this age it could be very difficult to wait for a number of years without sex and personally this would drive us crazy. It comes down to how much you like him and if what you have is good enough without sex. It might be worth talking to him and find out if there’s any leeway or if there’s another reason for him not wanting to do it that he’s afraid to share. If this isn’t the case and he’s resolute, once again it comes down to how much you like him.

This is a decision that you would have to think very carefully about and one that will inevitably have to be made. We suggest thinking hard and making a decision, if you decide that you can’t be in a relationship without sex then it might be time to move on. However this does not necessarily have to be the end as who knows what might happen in the future.