My boyfriend cant keep it up!

Q) Dear Jack and Jim, my confidence has really taken a hit. Over the last couple of months my boyfriend has not been able to “perform” whilst we are making love. It used to be when he was drunk and he blamed it on that but more recently it has happenend all the time and i have began to wonder whether im doing something wrong? Please help! (Steph 3rd year).

It's cos Im Drunk!

Steph again thanks for your question and I hope that it’s not worrying you too much.  We can understand why you are so upset with such a situation. This area is such an important and intimate part of a relationship and it is understandable that your confidence has taken a knock, however it is certainly not somthing that is fully your boyfriends or your fault.  Jack and Jim would just like to point out that is not something either of us have ever had a problem with.

Our advice in this situation is going to be a combination of a few things as there could be many variables to the situation. Firstly speak about it, this is probably a very difficult and embarrassing situation for him as this is about his manhood not working! Approach him carefully about it, maybe after a couple of glasses of wine so that the atmosphere is a little more mischievous. Skirt around the main focus at first with a few easier questions around the sexual subject. See what his reaction is and then maybe take it further and ask if there  is anything on his mind. This situation may have nothing to do with you at all and maybe to do with the stressful nature of uni. Remember stress is literally a downer!

If you don’t feel comfortable to approach the question in this situation then i would suggest you do something nice for your boyfriend and have a night in. It is important that you both know each other well. You and he should ask what each other like and what turns both of you on……..

Do something special for him, it maybe that things have become a little stale. Treat yourself and him to a night of passion. Jack and Jim feel that making things interesting and different in the bedroom can definately help………We  feel that Ann summers could possibly provide the answer.

Steph dont feel down about again it could have nothing to do with you. Our friend Dave naming no names, has had the same problem and this was due to stress. In all you must’nt worry as love should conquer all. If that fails Swinging could provide a very different answer, however this is not something Jack and Jim condone! Remember always practice safe sex if you go down this route.