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Why gals should be making the first move

I’m not just talking Bumble

Let’s be honest it’s been commonly regarded that when it comes to heterosexual dating, guys should be making the first move. Whether this comes down to the history of a patriarchal society, the notions of chivalry or simply a question of ego, it seems that in an age where we are challenging the notion of gender roles, this should transcend into dating.

Dating apps are certainly playing their part in trying to achieve this. Bumble, described as the ‘feminist dating app’ was launched in 2014 and puts control onto the female. Once two people match the female has 24 hours to start a conversation otherwise her match disappears.

Tinder, which is responsible for one billion matches a day, is currently trialling a feature in India called ‘My Move’, which allows females to decide whether or not they want to be the ones to start the conversation when they match with a man.

Yet whilst these methods exist in their effort to change the climate of dating, a major new study carried out by the Oxford Internet Institute (OII) and eHarmony found that men are 30 per cent more likely to initiate conversation than women. They analysed 150,000 profiles over 10 years tracking patterns among British users.

So why is this? Do men think it’s their responsibility to initiate things? Do women still expect it? Do women think they may be perceived differently if they take control? Should gender even come into the debate?

Well I thought what better way of finding out than asking what people think. And ladies, you may be surprised, but from my research, it’s actually us that seem to have more of a stereotypical view. In fact not one man I asked didn’t like the thought of a female making the first move.

Greg Draper said: “100% I think it’s a positive thing. I think girls expect guys to approach them first or ask them out because it’s the ‘manly thing to do’. But that shouldn’t come into it in 2018.”

Ruthba Choudhury added: “I think it’s a welcome thing in this day and age. It’s actually quite refreshing.”

Whilst it was definitely not just the males who possessed these views, us gals seem to have more varying points of view.

Another student told us: “If I was out I would never go and ask a guy for his number. But if I was on Tinder I would speak sometimes first.”

So it does seem that whilst certain constructs do still exist, challenging them is viewed as very much a positive thing and there should be nothing stopping women in their quest for love.

Dating apps are definitely doing their bit to help with this, but maybe their efforts mean that millennial views only match millennial methods. Maybe a breakdown in these traditional roles is very much happening, but only via online platforms.

Whilst online dating has very much become an integral part of our society, other methods certainly do still exist. Perhaps the challenge now isn’t so much solely gender expectations and more ensuring any breakdown of stigma filters beyond the security of a screen.