Sheffield Clubbers of the Week: 2 Ds and a Swimming Badge Edition
HALLAM HALLAM HALLAM
Oliver JonesThis weekend, a plague of Hallam students descended on the city, swarming to every available club, leaving a trail of whitey and and used condoms in their wake.
They come from far and wide. Girls who were, once upon a time, quiet and reserved, now harbour increasingly frequent ket habits and an aggressive dependency on cheap spirits to get fucked up, emerging from their halls at the end of the week transformed into fully fledged university students.
I think, what I am really trying to get at is, for good or bad, no student emerges from their first week at uni the same. It could almost be called poetic.
Confusingly, I was stopped in the street by a man from BBC Sheffield, to ask me about the drinking culture amongst young people, which apparently is declining. Well, if this week's article is anything to go by, he is clearly chatting shit.
Striptease of the Week
I thought you had to pay for this shit.
Didn't Get the Memo of the Week
Clearly no one mentioned the sunglasses only policy.
The Definitely Not Going to Work Tomorrow the Week
Hide your face so when you call in sick to work they don't know what you've done.
Small People Being Mistreated of the Week
I in no way endorse using small people as armrests but also they are useful for keeping your balance at gigs.
Out of Place Guy of the Week
Being six foot five does appear to have its downfalls.
Post Striptease Photo of the Week
Clearly both parties are happy with the transaction, I see no problem here, move on.
Preoccupied Friend of the Week
Too busy grafting clearly.
Mad Shit Going on at Corp of the Week
I could do Clubbers of the Week exclusively with Corp photos.
Cool Candid Photo of the Week
Spent 5 minutes trying to think of a funny caption, gave up.
Sudden Dramatic Realisation of the Week
Maxed your overdraft, not paid your rent, left oven on? Please email us and get in touch via [email protected]
Impressive Gurn of the Week
Power innit.
Weirdo in a Balaclava of the Week
Good to see yer da is taking the divorce well.
Bromance of the Week
Wholesome love.
Fellow Tab Writer of the Week
Oh my god, it's that guy who met the mayor in WSL then wrote about it. I'm starstruck.
DJ Crowd-Surfing in a Duck of the Week.
Scenes like this prove that, once and for all, Club Trop is the best night out in Sheffield.
All photos taken from respective club Facebook pages.
Forget Tinder, this note of a guy trying to pull on a Sheffield bench has everyone weeping
Emily SmithNew pulling technique? Sorted
Hallam students organise fundraising events to raise money for Sheffield charities
Amy VarleyThey aim to raise another £20,000 for Sheffield charities as part of a final year module
University of Sheffield and Sheffield Hallam University to merge from September 2024
Phoebe KowhaiThe two universities will now become one known as ‘Sheffield Universities’
Sheffield student stuck in Gaza starts GoFundMe
Max BoothSaid Zaaneen and his family have been trying to leave Gaza for the last several months.
University of Sheffield is the best university in the UK, according to students
It placed at top of the Russell Group in a survey that gathered feedback from more than 335,000 students
Sheffield Hallam offers academic staff voluntary severance scheme amid financial struggles
Any of the 1,700 staff who chose to accept will have to leave by 29th February 2024 at the latest
University of Sheffield celebrate opening of The Wave with cake from GBBO winner academic
The university academic Dr Rahul Mandal won the show in 2018
University of Sheffield students crash new building opening in support of Palestine
The group was protesting the university’s arms trade links
University of Sheffield’s Palestine society holds protest in Sheffield city centre
The protest was jointly organised by the University of Sheffield’s Palestine society and Sheffield Palestine solidarity campaign
Sheffield students resume campus occupations to protest university’s arms industry links
Will BaileyIt’s the first occupation of the academic year
Sheffield Hallam University calls off UCU strikes for the first week back
The move was announced in an email to students
Interested in joining us? Come and write for The Sheffield Tab!
We’re having two open meetings on the 25th and 28th of September
University of Sheffield moves up rankings to 18th in UK, according to new league table
The university also ranked in the top five for eight subjects
Five days of strikes to hit both Sheffield universities for the start of term
The new dates fall at the end of September
Future Hallam student was left ‘in limbo’ after being told his grades were lost
The chaos could have impacted his place on Hallam’s photography course
University of Sheffield is the best uni in the country, according to students
Sheffield Hallam didn’t fare as well
Self Esteem headlines cast of Sheffield stars receiving honorary degrees from the uni
‘It’s completely pointless to think you’re anything other than the absolute tits’
University of Sheffield staff warn students could be affected as external examiners drafted in
14 members of staff from the University of Sheffield’s urban studies and planning department signed a letter
Sheffield University is giving £500 to students who are graduating without all their marks
Lia Freeman70 final year students will receive the one-off payment as ‘a gesture of goodwill’
The five fashion trends all the cool girlies are wearing to festivals in 2024, according to Pinterest
Grace VielmaThe lewk bewk isn’t ready for this
Matty Healy has addressed Taylor Swift’s ‘diss track’ and is characteristically unbothered
‘I haven’t really listened’
Everything Lauren has been up to since leaving MAFS Australia 2024 like an absolute queen
Ellie RingShe’s an icon, a legend and she is the moment
‘Honestly, I expected backlash’: Richard Gadd speaks on Baby Reindeer’s staggering success
‘I didn’t expect it to be this big so quickly’
Selling the OC cast member Alexandra Jarvis has officially quit the Oppenheim Group
Jason Oppenheim recently confirmed her departure
Omg, MAFS UK fan favourite Georges is rumoured to appear on Celebs Go Dating!
Get him back on our screens!
Lauren reveals the ‘spicy’ parts of her MAFS Australia final vows that were cut from show
Jono should be thankful these weren’t aired
24 years after it first came out, what is the iconic cast of Gilmore Girls up to now?
Give me another reunion asap please
Here’s where else to watch the Outer Banks cast while you wait patiently for season four
Filling the major Pogue shaped hole in my life rn
Everything Natalie and Collins have been up to since their disastrous time on MAFS Australia
Harrison BrocklehurstIf I had to hear about Collins discussing OnlyFans, you do too
Everything Richard Gadd has said about Jessica Gunning’s captivating Baby Reindeer performance
Francesca Eke‘It lived and died on Martha and we couldn’t have been luckier’
Okay, so what happens next in the Ellie and Jono cheating saga on MAFS Australia 2024?
Jono becomes public enemy number one
The 10 best songs on Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department, according to streams
Justice for So High School!!!
Jess reveals she and Callum ‘no longer speak’ after he did something ‘unforgiveable’ to her
‘I wouldn’t say he’s a friend’
Hi Barbie! Meet the student who has written her entire dissertation on the Barbie movie
Not her supervisor’s name being Ken!
Holidays and moving in together: Inside Tom and Molly’s adorable post Love Island life
They’re actually too wholesome
Baby Reindeer’s Jessica Gunning has spoken out about people trying to find the real Martha
‘I think it’s a real, real shame, because it shows that they haven’t watched the show properly’
‘Taylor Swift pub’ The Black Dog staff have spoken out about chaotic week mobbed by Swifties
‘We’ve got a Swift half pint on the menu, which people can get for free if they sing a Taylor lyric’
