If the Love Island cast were Sheffield students, this is what they’d be like

We're now more than a week into everyone's favourite ITV2 show (and probably the only ITV2 show anyone watches), Love Island. The contestants have already been imagined as meal deal connoisseurs, as well as having their hypothetical uni personalities thought through.

But the question remains unanswered: what if the cast of Love Island were studying at the world's – or at least Sheffield's – best uni? Well wonder no more, as here is a list of questionable comparisons and Sheffield stereotypes.

Alex

Our heartbroken medic would find some solace here

One of the less annoying medics doing the rounds, Alex would take his studies very seriously. At least two of his fellow Western Bank regulars would have developed burning crushes on Alex, although his attempts to pull in Poppy Ts would be rebuked with the classic "I've got a boyfriend" from people who don't have boyfriends – they're just not into him.

Dani

"Hahaha Dani Dyer! Like Danny Dyer?"

Working part time at Bar One and Interval, Dani would be a down-to-earth Psychology student and that flatmate who actually seems to have their life sort of together. The sort of person to sign for a house in October and have a very specific folder system to ensure she aced her degree, Dani's efforts to keep her famous relative a secret would last until the first "never have I ever" game of Freshers' Week in Derwent.

Georgia

Her Instagram would just be selfies and photos like this

Georgia would be one of those girls who follows the photographer round in Code until they relent and take a photo of the whole #squad. Also studying Psychology, she'd spend a significant amount of uni putting her Steam Yard visits on her Instagram story. She was with a Birmingham-born Hallam lad for a couple of weeks, but didn't seem all that devastated when he dropped out of uni, and never actually spoke to him again.

Wes

"Lads get this, I only got in from Midland at 7am"

Three weeks into semester one of second year, you'd suspect that something was going on between hardworking, seemingly innocent Wes and his seminar tutor. Five weeks in, your suspicions would be confirmed. "Serious" about impressing her, it'd be a hot topic at any pre, and of course on Shefessions. When not pulling members of academic staff, Wes would be acting all cultured at Peddler Market, and occasionally rewarding himself for his graft – in all senses of the word – by going to see a DJ at Hope Works who he pretends to listen to.

Jack

He'd think Bastille are a proper good indie band

You'd be able to catch Jack at Plug week in, week out, which is fitting as he'll probably end up doing a meet and greet there. He'd have had a girlfriend for the last few weeks, who seems nice, if oblivious to what he got up to at Tiger Works behind his last girlfriend's back. As for the uni bit of uni, Jack would spend the last four weeks of the uni year compensating for the wasted nights and wasted student loan installments, and somehow manage to pass each bit of his Management degree.

Hayley

Imagine having to live with her in first year lol

Hayley is probably the sort of person who would give you a dirty look if you accidentally bumped into her in Foundry. Hayley is definitely the sort of person who sends in anonymous Shefessions to slag off her flat, and reserves a computer in the IC before sitting at the reserved computer with her laptop out. Not much more needs to be said than that, really.

Charlie

Charlie's idea of a good night

You've seen Charlie on Tinder at least four times. Much like the Mappin building, he'd be difficult to work out, keeping a tight-knit group of friends who save their Instagram content for Sundays, and live for Student Saturdays. All things considered, Charlie would be the sort of guy who you'd get on with well enough in halls – remember when he stole a traffic cone on the walk back to Endcliffe?!! What a guy – but wouldn't quite bother to stay in touch with afterwards.

Samira

She'd be nailed on for an Activities Award

Samira would be one of those people who actually makes an effort to get involved in the Students' Union, probably with something like the a capella society. There's no denying that she'd be likable, and fit in well in the Steel City, but, because she keeps herself to herself a bit, Samira probably wouldn't get invited to your pres in Crookesmoor unless she was one of your house's mate from home.

Adam

Look really closely and you can actually see him

Adam was made for ROAR Wednesdays, and ROAR Wednesdays made for Adam. When not downing countless tropical VKs in Foundry and "raving" (at a fully licensed nightclub event) to Calvin Harris tunes, he'd be blagging a 2:1 in some variant of a Biology degree, befitting of his snake status. He'd be at uni for the LAD culture, but would get some seminar reading done in between the sports nights and 3am "you up?" texts.

Megan

When your seminar crush hasn't texted back in days

Megan would fall into that rare category of Sheffield student who actually prefers Carver Street to the infinitely superior West Street. When not hitting up SOYO every Friday, and eventually selling her soul to become a rep for a promo company – FREE SHOTS WHEN YOU BOOK A VIP TABLE!! Message for details!! – she'd be seeking advice from her otherwise sad girl house about her latest boy troubles.

Eyal

Think of your own unflattering caption

Studying Politics and Philosophy, he'd be absolutely insufferable in seminars. Eyal would feign some concern about Sheffield's trees, actually be rooted in wanting to pull one of his coursemates, and try to get all in the TTC smoking area – although nothing could distract you from his frankly awful personality, which only reinforces the worst stereotypes about Uni Of. His club of choice would be Corp where, without fail, he'd get with girls in front of the very guys who fancy them.