Boring Sheffield Uni scientists say not having sex can make you live a lot longer

Time to grow that virginity back

The key to living a long life is cutting out sex, according to researchers at the University of Sheffield.

The new study explains why nuns tend to outlive those who are always at it after observing the sex life of mealworm beetles.

Experts discovered that beetles that mate everyday died at a much younger age, while those that avoided trying to produce offspring lived for much longer. The hormone released in insects needed to produce sperm in a male or eggs in female was found to leave the immune system vulnerable to rogue bacteria and life threatening infections.

Cut it out

Speaking about how a similar principle can be applied to us humans getting down and dirty, Dr. Michael Siva-Jothey said: “Nuns tend to have a longer lifespan than women with children and most people know of someone with a maiden aunt who seems to live forever.

“The question is, why? The beetles which mate die sooner than the beetles which don’t mate.”

Humans also tend to experience weaker immune systems during sex, explaining why STIs are easily spread between partners.

“The assumption then is that if the immune system is downgraded, that leads to a loss of longevity,” adds Siva-Jothey.

“It is fair to assume that would be the same with other organisms including humans, because mating has a dual effect – a positive one, but then a negative one on the immune system.”

The news comes as Vermont University revealed last week that people who eat hot chill peppers were 13 per cent less likely to die early, finding that the active component capaicin helped to prevent heart complications and the risk of stroke.

In the words of Mean Girl’s Coach Carr, “don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die!”