If your mum didn’t send you an advent calendar, does she even love you?
The ultimate test of your parents’ love
It’s that time of year again. As students pinch-punch each other across the country, we’re reminded that for a very special 25 days, it’s OK to eat chocolate everyday, even before breakfast.
While we’re still unsure of the relevance of chocolate to Christmas in general (we don’t understand Easter either), it seems a monumental injustice to be denied of the daily treat that is the advent calendar. For the poor students out there who haven’t received that special parcel in the post we beg the question: do our mums even care about our happiness?
Although an advent calendar is easy and cheap to buy, it goes without saying that buying yourself an advent calendar is just depressing. As something that reminds us of our childhood, buying it for yourself is as heartbreaking as acknowledging Father Christmas isn’t real. Being a student is about clinging on to the last threads of childhood, why would our parents deny us this treat?
What’s worse, if you’ve spent days of anticipation waiting for an advent calendar in the post, what happens when December 1st comes and you’re left empty-handed? Pretty soon all the advent calendars will start getting reduced, and if you thought buying one full price was depressing, buying yourself a discounted advent calendar is just bleak.
God forbid you experience the sinking feeling of shame as you notice you’re the only one in your house deprived of a chocolaty present from the rents. Brace yourself for withering looks of pity from housemates as they tuck into their daily dose of sweetness, whilst you longingly stare down their Hotel Chocolat calendar, wondering if you can get away with pinching days 11 and 17.
So, what can be suggested if you’ve found yourself bereft this December? Send a complaint to your mum, buy yourself a bar of galaxy, and try to pick up the pieces of your shattered Christmas spirit.