Why would you want to live anywhere other than Crookesmoor?

In a land far away, at the top of a magical hill in Sheffield, lies Crookesmoor where the streets are paved with gold empty pizza boxes and smashed bottles of Lambrini. A short walk from Upperthorpe Tesco, and the glittering lights of Walkley, it’s been said by some that it’s similar to St Tropez, just without the beach, or the sea…or the hoards of glamorous people.

Nonetheless, Crookesmoor is the place to live. If it isn’t your “Pizza Mania” providing you with a much needed meat feast after a night out, it’s the Indian restaurant “Rajput” where you can take your parents for a delicious Indian slap-up dinner, or show off to your Rugby mates by daring to eat a vindaloo. Our smaller Sainsbury’s is so much more superior than Crookes’ larger one, ideal for when you need a £1 pizza during assessment season, and our mini co-op is oh so handy when you run out of toilet roll.

One must not forget that Crookesmoor is that bit closer to university, making it a smidgen easier to stumble into lectures after a night on the blue pints at Corp. However, Conduit Road and Barber road prove to be quite the obstacle courses after a night out. If it isn’t the slippy leaves in the autumn, it’s the bins left out by some of the many the hundreds of students who live here, and it goes without mentioning the 95 per cent gradient hills.

It’s also closer to the City Centre meaning it costs us at least £1 less to get to our beloved West Street Live than it does for the poor kids in Crookes. You can’t walk down the street without there being a house party you get dragged into, and you aren’t judged for walking to Ozman’s in your PJs, as everyone else there is also sporting a leavers hoodie and tartan pyjama bottoms.

Crookesmoor may not be the birthplace of Joe Cocker, nor where indie band The Crookes met, but Crookesmoor is home to one of the longest roads in Sheffield, so you can stick that in your pipe and smoke it. We’ve got “Beanies”, a hippy vegetable store, as well as an abundance of proper pubs, with The Closed Shop, The Hallamshire House and The Springvale Tavern all within spitting distance, and you can even buy a pint for £2.60.

All in all, whilst Crookesmoor might be the underachieving sibling of Crookes, it’s what the uni experience is all about. There’s even a head shop on the main road, and it goes without mentioning Janette’s hairdressers (word on the street is that she’s something of a milf).

So, don’t be crooked and give Crookesmoor a chance.