Why corp should be crowned the UK’s most tragic home town club

Ask any Sheffield student where’s the dirtiest place they’ve ever been and you can guarantee a few variations of the same answer: Corp toilets, Corp stairways, Corp floors, or just Corp in general.

So what is it about Corp which entices residents of Sheffield? Some may say it’s the coloured pints which make three shots of vodka taste like Robinson’s blackcurrant juice. Others say it’s the cheesy music which gets even the grumpiest of students on their feet yelling “so call me maybe” within seconds. Personally, I think it’s the way Corp does clubbing like nowhere else on this earth.

There’s no denying that Corp makes an impression on everyone who enters its doors. Popworld and Plug just don’t come close to the joy and excitement which a night out in Corp brings. Corp may be a shithole, but that’s what makes it the best club in the UK.

But apparently Corp isn’t for everyone. You might say you won’t go there because it is ‘too dirty’, but you’re missing the point. Corp is supposed to be dirty. That’s where its beauty lies. As long as you’re armed with a good pair of Corp shoes, ready to accept the fact you’ll return home covered in beer, vomit and several other unknown substances, you have nothing to fear.

What the haters fail to see is that Corp’s griminess is what makes it so great. Even if you’ve had a blue pint thrown directly over your head by some intoxicated individual, these are the moments we love to hate. Is the night really complete if you’re not covered in neon quad vod stains? These messy moments are what make Corp such a beloved institution.

Blue stains = a successful night

A blessing in disguise, and perhaps the most golden aspect of Corp, is the famous “Corp TV”.  Some people avoid the “Corp TV guy” like the plague, but embracing the camera will definitely provide you with some top-notch ammunition to stick on the squad WhatsApp once it goes on YouTube. There is nothing more sacred than video proof of your best mate’s decline after attempting to complete the rainbow challenge. Besides, what better way to commemorate your evening than a video with your new drunken friends, whose names you can’t even remember the next day?

‘No idea who these people are’

Whether it’s the pungent scent of BO, the blue pint, the Britney-esque school girl attire, or the questionably-coloured water running through the toilets, you simply cannot deny that Corp is a shithole. But it’s our shithole, and nobody can argue with that.

Vote for Corp as the best, yet most tragic hometown club here.