What your favourite Sheffield night out says about you
Do you prefer blue pints or Red Stripe?
Whether you’re as ratchet as Rihanna or love to sing along to some S Club, Sheffield’s clubbing scene undoubtedly has the perfect night out for you.
You could be doing Medicine, Engineering, Law, or some other sensible degree, it doesn’t matter. Corp brings together people from all walks of life over a shared love of blue pints. You might have lectures on a Thursday, but you don’t know where they are because you’ve never managed to get up in time.
If someone met you in your normal day to day life, they might use words to describe you like sweet or nice, but if you met them in Corp they would use words like crazy, mental or unhinged. You know at least one person who’s broken a bone from falling down the stairs, but you know it’s worth the risk for an ecstatic night of singing along to cheesy classics.
You and the lads come straight from the gym for a big night out on the pull in the SU. After a few jägerbomb, you think it’s acceptable to show your abs to anything that moves. You might think your grinding game is on point, but the girl next to you covered in your sweat does not agree.
It’s not been a good night unless you’ve got with half the netball team, but don’t worry, you can make some gains later with a kebab from Broomhill Friery. Hipsters may hate on you, but who cares because your arms are bigger than their heads.
The Night Kitchen
Who are we? Why are we here? How do we even know we are real? Just some of the questions you ask yourself on a daily basis. You love TNK because it opens your mind to higher levels of consciousness, and you think a herbal tea bar is a perfectly acceptable addition to a club.
Your gap year in South East Asia left you craving more spiritual enlightenment, so you come to the Night Kitchen in the hope that dancing like Luna Lovegood and staring intensely at strobe lights will unlock parts of your soul you didn’t know existed.
You’re all about the good vibes and sick beats. You’ve donned your wavey garms and fresh creps and you’re ready to dance like you’re playing an invisible game of table tennis. You think you look really edgy in your Ralph Lauren cap and track jacket, when actually you are the epitome of mainstream.
You dropped a few pingers before you came thinking you were being rebellious, but in reality you’re in the SU. You know every word of Shutdown by Skepta (you listened to him before it was cool), and you’re from Surrey, despite telling people you’re from London.
You’re either from Hallam or you’re lost.
There has never been a more basic bitch than you, Plug is the epitome of mediocrity. You think you’re too good for Pop Tarts but let’s be honest, you’re only listening to remixes of the same songs. You basicness is unparalleled, you have a Starbucks loyalty card and you love a pumpkin spiced latte.
Your pre drinks consist of listening to Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber, armed with a bottle of Echo Falls’ finest. People may hate on you for not being edgy enough, but you know that things are popular for a reason and being basic is the best way to be.
You started off at Tuesday Club before you realised it was too mainstream and so you moved onto bigger and better things at the Harley. Glitter is a prerequisite for any night out. You don’t mind paying £4.50 for a drink as long as the vibes are through the roof. You probably have a big following on your Instagram account, and your dedication to insta extends to your choice of night out. That picture of you in the Harley, obligatory Red Stripe in hand, is #instagold.