What does your Broomhill Friery order say about you?
You are what you eat
It’s 2am, you’re drunk. You’ve danced the night away, but the distant thought of Dan Bean and his deep fat frier has never been far from your mind.
You no doubt know what you’re ordering – and have done since about 11am when the thought of food first innocently floated into your head, but in your intoxicated state you can’t help but wonder… what does this order say about me? Does the choice between a burger and a donner kebab have a deeper and more telling meaning? Is there a glimmer of my soul hidden away in those cheesy chips?
Well now those days of wondering are behind you.
So generic. So very basic. If you’re the kind of person who leaves Pop Tarts after two VK’s, tweeting to the world what a sick night you had whilst belting out “Bad Blood” by Taylor Swift, then you’re definitely ordering cheesy chips. You care about being on trend, and this is the order for the the masses – a simple snack for a simple soul. Don’t forget the obligatory snapchat post captioned “cheesy chips with Dan Bean my bae xox” – your story will be totes hilare tomorrow morning.
If you’re ordering the meat feast then one thing is for sure – you’re all about the gains. That gym sesh you had earlier wasn’t for nothing, and if you’re gonna get a Friery you’re obvs gonna scoff as much protein as humanly possible in the process. It’s likely that under your muscular exterior you do have a sensitive side. Your desperation to bulk may stem from a deep insecurity about how much of a lad you are. Is your banter hilarious enough? Will you ever sleep with more girls than your best mate? These are just a few things to ponder whilst ploughing through your mound of manly meat.
Namaste. If the veggie burger is your order of choice you’re an absolute hippy. A child of the earth, you want one of the few takeaway options that includes greenery, because plants are our friends. You love yoga, and probably spent the morning in downward facing dog, or meditating under a tree somewhere. You’re a type B personality- totally zen and not phased by the troubles of the world. Your cheesy chip eating friends are going into meltdown about the fact that they haven’t yet been super-liked on Tinder but you’ll probably be sitting there quietly, contemplating the meaning of life.
You’ve text your ex at least 50 times this evening, haven’t you? If a donner kebab is your order of choice then you’re probably a bit of a mess. The pitta is in many ways a metaphor for your mental state – a stable exterior which is crumbling under the weight of everything inside it. You know too well you’re going to wake up tomorrow in a bed of lettuce and garlic mayo – and you just don’t care. In fact, you’ll probably stuff your face with the cold left overs. You’ve been smashing the Jagers since about 7 o’clock, and now a big old pitta stuffed with meat is your only solace.
Chips and Gravy
If chips and gravy is the only option for you, you’re probably a proud northerner. You cannot stomach the idea of straying from your home comforts: thick, salty, brown liquid on a bed of deep fried potato. Life doesn’t get much better than this. Those Southern fools don’t understand culinary genius like you do.