You can’t have enjoyed going out every single night in freshers

Don’t pretend you’re not glad it’s over

Freshers is culturally hailed as the most important boozy bender of any young person’s life, student or not.

It’s a flagship week in the year where you no doubt frittered away all that money you’d saved over summer on cheap doubles, cheesy chips and elaborate costumes you’re never going to wear again. 

But unless you have exceptionally high energy levels and a group of friends who share this abnormality, chances are you probably won’t didn’t enjoy Freshers from start to finish.

It was funny once

The clubs go all out to convince the newcomers that they’re the place to be by hosting tired themed nights and giving out oh-so enviable freebies like inflatable guitars and glow sticks.

These can be fun in moderation, and on the appropriate nights to hit the town, but a Sunday? That’s the day of rest, respect it. 

In reality, what the clubs don’t tell you in their heavy promotions and empty promises is that a) you’ll have to wait onwards of 10 minutes for a drink at the bar, so be wise and stock up when you finally get served, and b) there’s still no escaping the thralls of dickheads doing dickhead things. 

Just some dickheads doing dickhead things

Architecture second year Adam Wallace said: “It’s just like going out normally but with more events.

“I needed a rest on Wednesday during my Freshers because I was incredibly hungover.

“It’s not all it’s made out to be, it wasn’t worth the effort to go out every night.”

And it’s not only the repetitive club nights that become mundane, but by at least midweek, the dreaded “freshers flu” will have reared it’s ugly head and started to drain your body of any morsels of life left over from the nights before.

Freshers flu is the by-product of heavy socialising in the thrust of autumn and drunken exchanges with overly friendly strangers in packed out bars, exacerbated by some seriously savage hangovers that even a full English can’t cure.

It’s going to be okay

Its symptoms are common and pitiful, and now you’re going to feel sorry for yourself for at least half of this semester and spend the next month with a perpetually snotty nose and chronic fatigue.

It probably festered in the Corp smoking area on Monday night , spread from limb to limb in Tuesday Club , kicked into full effect for Leadmill on Thursday and by the end of the week, you wont have even known your own name anymore. Everything you knew about the world seemed wrong. 

By midweek, going out becomes a battle with both the mind and body, and anyone who says otherwise is lying. There seems to be an unwritten social stigma attached to the idea of nailing Freshers week, but we’re not in year 11 now. We shouldn’t be judging each other on how many net Jägers we can sink in seven days, and having a well deserved break last week doesn’t mean you are weak, it means you are wise.