The ultimate guide to middle class revision snacks

Meal deals are for peasants


When a 24 hour library sesh gets tough, one must seek solace in the humble beauty of food and drink. But why lower yourself to second rate snacks when you can indulge in food that is totally on your middle-class level?

So whilst they splurge their student loans on shitty £3 meal deals, follow these guidelines to achieve the most bourgeoisie snacking experience possible.

Mmm Tigerbread

Mmm Tigerbread

Antipasti

Where would we be without a good old antipasti spread? They are our best friends in this time of need.

Mini snacking chorizo, olives, vine leaf parcels, octopus carpaccio, and caper-berries – you name it, it’s destined to be perched next to your Mac.

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If you can whack out the cured meats whilst sunning yourself in the Maldives, then you can certainly do it here.

Cheese

Some argue that it is wrong to consume an entire cheese board over the course of writing an essay, but don’t listen to them. Get the manchego flowing, and the ideas won’t be far behind.

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Crisp alternatives

Exam season is no place for Wotsits or Walkers, and crisps are so 2008. You need the finest hand cut, or any of the following sublime substitutes: popcorn, pretzels, mini rice cakes or seaweed thins. Enjoy.

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Salmon

Impressive work if you can incorporate salmon into the snacking selection. Team some salmon terrine slices with quinoa for the ultimate brain power boost.

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And before you ask, it’s pronounced “keen-wah”.

Fruit

Mummy doesn’t give you £50 a week for you to spunk it away on fruit that isn’t organic. Think about your actions.

The general rule of thumb in this social standing is “if it’s miniature, it’s superior”. Baby sweetcorn, avocado and pears comprise just a few of this staple food group.

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Divine

 

Posh chocolate

If you’ve heard of the brand before then you’re not going to be obscure enough. The aim of posh chocolate is to find a brand that nobody knows, and select a flavour that people are curious about.

“Oh you’ve never had chilli lime chocolate before? My word you’ve lived a sheltered life.”

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Mmmmm

 Macaroons

Delicious and so easily transported in Tupperware, it would be rude not to. Nothing screams “i’m better than you” more than these little beauties.

Feel elegant and classy whilst the peasants chow on their measly Penguins. So basic.

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Drinks

Bored of the same old IC cafe offerings? Broaden your horizons and dip your toe in a teacup of Darjeeling brew, or calming cup of lemongrass, ginger and lime infusion, perfect for winding down after deadline day.

Need a bit of a pick me up? Don’r turn to energy drinks to keep you going…turn to bubbly wine. It’s been scientifically proven that alcohol gets the creative juices flowing.

These miniature, picnic friendly bottles are ideal for your glamorous packed lunch. You’ll be the envy of the library.

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