Is this the worst flat in Endcliffe?
Someone pissed in the sink
If you’ve ever considered your flat was revolting, chances are you’ve got nothing on the festering squalor the residents of Froggatt C2 are greeted with every morning.
Between compost corner, erected during the great bin bag famine of week 4, empty beer cans, roadside equipment and dirty pots, lies the epitome of laziness, moral decay and no living standards.
“It’s now got to the point where we use the chairs as a work surface in the kitchen.” said Physics first year George.
He added: “We get a lot of compliments about the way the TV is mounted on a beer keg, but I don’t think anyone has ever come in here and not said this place is a shithole.”
Upon entering the flat your senses immediately heighten to the smell of overflowing bins, decomposing food, and dirty George Forman grills.
“I should probably clean the fat tray” said George.
“But would it make any difference?”
Probably not. What is now nicknamed “C2: The Bin Bag of the World” has failed its last two communal area inspections. The cleaner, who comes once every fortnight, has also refused to clean the kitchen for the last four visits, declaring it “a disgrace.”
It’s easy to see why. When the bins overflow, rather than take them out like civilised human beings might, they resorted to launching rubbish out of the windows.
Days later they noticed a pile of tea bags and egg shells had gathered above the window ledge. Picturesque.
Unsurprisingly, the cutlery and plates also look like they’ve been neglected since freshers week, many of which have turned into ashtrays.
“It adds to the character of the place,” said one Historian.
“We probably have the funniest pre-drinks.”
Upon asking the cleanest member of the group, he said of the living experience: “They’re alright. Not bad for a bunch of wankers.”
“We’ve only ever washed up once and that was when some dickhead pissed in our sink,” said another unnamed C2 resident.
“I’m pretty sure we’re not getting our deposits back.”