Panic’s over: Aslan’s has reopened again

There is a God


After a mystery week long closure, our favourite post Pop Tarts kebabby finally reopened last week.

The cult takeaway and donner aficionados had shut down unexpectedly, leaving fast food fanatics at the mercy of other local takeaways.

So majestic

A tenancy notice was put up in the door following the closure, which appeared to suggest issues with rent. Despite have being ripped, “non payment of rent” was still clearly visible on the sign.

The shop is thought to have reopened properly at the start of last week.

Aslan was unavailable to comment, but loyal fans have been quick to share their relief: “I don’t need or want to know the reasons. My life is finally complete again.” said Economics finalist Chloe Maycock.

Second year Economist Pete added: “It’s kind of like the resurrection of Christ”.