Sorry but I just don’t get Yik Yak

It’s an unnecessary blank canvas for ill thought out, unamusing thoughts, mundane life updates and people who want to pretend they have a sex life.

Welcome to Yik Yak.

The concept itself is straightforward. A localised, anonymous Twitter style feed with a pleasant, simple to navigate interface and a fun yak based logo which is both cute and inviting.

A straightforward concept

It sounds like it should work. Yet, scrolling through the constant stream of mindless drivel on offer feels very much like being forcibly shoved back into a year 5 playground.

The bragging, the whining, the poo stories. The basic observations about banal life routines, made up anecdotes and the constant search for validation from one other.

At least 

What are you like?

When you take away the accountability of Twitter, you’re essentially left with a vacuum . It’s no longer essential to be mildly insightful, amusing or in fact place any consideration into what you say in the slightest.

Anyone can say they had a foursome with some girls from their Law seminar in Plug toilets, or beg for up votes by announcing how much they supposedly love anal. We all know you’re actually sat at home watching Frozen in your pyjamas.

Same

It’s not to say it’s full of real scandal like Gossip Girl, much too vanilla. No one’s parading the Upper East Side here, we’re not marrying Princes, having complex, multi million dollar affairs or shopping at Chanel all day.

Walking down Crookesmoor Road to uni with a falafel meal deal is about as exciting as it gets, and it shows. Yik Yak is more dull than it is explicit.

Is it though? Is it atall?

Instead of scandalous or shocking, it fast becomes a haven for tame whining and bitching. Snappy indirect messages about correct cleaning protocol, washing up procedure and how to stack a dishwasher in an appropriate fashion.

Transferring your passive aggressive rant onto this platform is perhaps even more pathetic than the post it note you no doubt stuck on your housemates pile of dishes last week.

So many other yaks reek of a subtle, yet very determined need for acceptance, they perhaps intend to be funny at the same time but never quite cut the mustard.

Wouldn’t be a night out without a Friery would it guys? Omg what is our wifi like? Isn’t it funny how everyone buys Sainsbury’s cookies and takes them into the IC? No it’s not, these are all just very standard things no one particularly cares about.

Obviously

Can we not all just go about our day without having to disect how similar and studenty and classic Sheffield we all are? Why would anyone optionally want to sit there and do that?

It’s just not though is it

But they really do, and now instead of a matey game of ring of fire or triangle in pre drinks, or a civilised chat at the pub, you’re expected to engage in drunken group yik yak scrolling.

Silently reading through, seeing who can get the most up votes round the table and crying about your insightful Dan Bean yak which got voted off yesterday.

Please, make it stop.