The ultimate guide to budget bog roll

We’ve all been there. You thought they’d not noticed, you thought it’d been forgotten, but it’s your turn to buy the loo roll and 48 Whatsapp reminders deep, your housemates aren’t letting you escape it this time. 

Buying toilet roll shouldn’t have to be the personal trauma you’re used to; frantically skimming the shelves for the cheapest you can get away with, before dragging that colossal 12 pack up Conduit and meeting at least 40 distant pre-drinks acquaintances on your way.

We weigh up the pros and cons so you have one less thing to worry about.

ASDA Smart Price

The quality of this loo roll is beyond questionable from the price alone. Realistically, a basic range 4 pack for a mere £1 is never going to match the comfort and quality you’re after, but this really is a car crash of a product. As soon as you take this toilet paper out of it’s cold, bare packaging it just feels wrong, it’s so horrifyingly thin it’d struggle to cushion an ant, never mind your nether regions. You’re a student, not a pauper, and frankly, you deserve better.

Comfort and texture: 1/5
Number of squares needed: 5
Price: £1

Nouvelle

From an ethical perspective,there’s no qualms here. It’s always good to see a product promoting a more sustainable way of living, and for some of you, that will be exactly what you’re looking for in a loo roll. Sadly though, the recycled paper results in a heavily reduced softness, and most importantly, an increased price in relation to the quality. It’s by no means a bad product, but if it’s pure unadulterated luxury you’re looking for, it’s probably best to leave Nouvelle to the Eco-Warriors.

Comfort and texture: 3/5
Number of squares needed: 3
Price: £1.84

Recycled roll

Shades

Surprisingly, ASDA actually does an impressive job taking what should just be just a middle of the road product, and turning it into something very special. This not only competes, but easily triumphs over the mainstream brands, being considerably softer than premium Andrex and no doubt the golden labrador puppy himself. Shades is the ideal solution for those who are somewhat strapped for cash, but still seeking luxury.

Comfort and texture: 4/5
Number of squares needed: 3
Price: £1.78

So good you’ll want to wrap your face in it

Lifestyle Value

This product brutally undercuts the cost of smart price more than you even thought possible, yet it’s still almost splendorous in comparison. It’s fairly strong and unlike other low cost attempts, doesn’t feel quite as much like a sheet of A4 lined paper to the skin. If you’re on a serious budget, it’s probably high time you ditched those pre-existing toilet roll prejudices and gave this a fair try.

Comfort and texture: 2/5
Number of squares needed: 4
Price: 79p

The dark horse of toilet roll

Cushelle

At the more pricey end of the toilet roll variety, it’s no shock that Cushelle positively reins over other brands. If you’re a folder, it’s robust nature means you can easily get away with using only 2 squares, so whilst at first glance this may seem sickeningly expensive, you’re actually saving yourself the pennies in the long run. This roll is not atall dissimilar to caressing your body with an incredibly soft feather, and as is always the case with the best things in life, quality beats quantity.

Comfort and texture: 5/5
Number of squares needed: 2 or 3
Price: £2.18

A student house’s dream