How not to spend your student loan

The start of term marks a momentous day for students, more importantly than lectures and seminars beginning is that beautiful new lump sum of money.

That precious loan drops into your bank account, instantly replenishing that hefty overdraft. However, a loan is still a loan. You’re still a poor student.

Here’s not what to do with it.

No

Don’t go to Plug, get your card out and buy £70 worth of Jagerbombs for your new course mates, those guys from football and some fit bird.

Flashing the card on a night out has never and will never be cool.

Like many, you’ll just wake up in the morning either severe regrets or no card at all.

Enough jager chaps? Whose plastic got destroyed this time?

Similarly, don’t go to Meadowhall and spend £400 on unnecessary clothes you won’t wear in two months.

If you have to spend next summer paying your overdraft off in a shit job because you bought three new pairs of trainers, a mulberry purse, and all of the new MAC collection then your definitely going to feel like a dickhead when your mates are inter-railing in July.

Leaving Meadowhall South with regret, shame and the realisation you still have to spend another £2 getting the tram home

Running out of money already? Comfort eating? Don’t spend £30+ a week on Dominoes or other take-aways.

Regardless of how many vouchers you got at the Freshers fair, it’s still so expensive for what is literally just bread, cheese and sauce.

You’ll also stop yourself gaining that obligatory ten stone throughout the year.

Dominoes are you really worth it?!

At the same time though, don’t spend £200 on a gym membership and go twice a month.

It’s easy to believe at the start of the new academic year that you’re suddenly going to become a sporting legend and go to the gym 5 times a week.

Yet, if you can’t even make it out of bed for your 12pms you’re pretty unlikely to make it to the gym enough times to make it worthwhile.

Lastly, don’t buy an Xbox 1 or a PS4 to impress the new “Uni Lads”. Just don’t.

Yes, you’ll have a great time for the first two weeks and perhaps even be the flat legend,  but two months down the line when you don’t have enough money to pay your rent and are eating tinned ravioli for all three meals, you’ll feel stupid.

Very stupid.

Another uni lad hitting Fifa, surprise surprise he’s in his overdraft already