The best of Sheffield’s chat up lines
Use at your own risk
Fresh back to lectures and looking for love? Thought chat up lines were best left in 2004?
Think again. You’ll wow any potential suitor with these pearls of love.
IC you baby, shaking that ass.
A safe, non seedy option. If you love your cheese and prefer not to come across as a straight out sex pest, then this is for you. 5/10
IC what you did there
It’s a good job I have my u-card on me, because I’m totally checking you out.
Abysmally cheesey once again, but also a classic. Has the potential to brighten a grim day in Western Bank, but that’s really not saying much. 4/10
Literally checking you out
I like my girls how I like my corp floors. Dirty and covered in vodka.
Will work on any girl who likes her guys greasier than a Broomhill Friery special, and that’s not many. Not to be used on those with morals and principles. 7/10 for effort, 10/10 for creepiness, 0/10 for appropriateness.
Messy
Your eyes are like Mappin corridors, I just keep getting lost in them
Cute and inoffensive with a studious twist on classic romance, this is probably one of the better ones. 7/10
I’ve got an impressive erection I want to show you, and I’m not talking about the Arts Tower.
Ask yourself, is this appropriate in the given social situation? Funny, but also massively creepy. Could work, could get also get you arrested. 5/10
I like my girls/boys like my Henderson’s relish, strong and northern.
Passable but a bit of a lost cause if the victim is neither strong, northern or a condiment fan. 5/10
Strong and northern
You’re STEELING my heart.
Vague, non specific and lacking any real wow factor. 2/10
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The move was announced in an email to students
Interested in joining us? Come and write for The Sheffield Tab!
We’re having two open meetings on the 25th and 28th of September
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‘It’s completely pointless to think you’re anything other than the absolute tits’
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Ellie Ring
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I need answers immediately
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She’s living her best life
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‘People really out here selling themselves for some views/likes’
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There’s picture evidence!!!
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‘How sad that a woman in the position to share her expertise and experience chooses instead to attack another woman’
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And apparently even tried to get Lizz fired?!
Definitively ranking all the episodes of Fallout series one from worst to best
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I’ve never felt so out of touch