10 things they don’t tell you about studying Geography at Sheffield

1)      The building is without doubt Sheffield’s most grotesque eyesore. Inside is little better, with crumbling walls and a thoroughly repellent duck egg blue colour scheme that makes learning even harder than it has to be.

Ew.

2)      The entire premise of The Geography Cafe is a cruel lie. Said cafe does not consist of bean bags, lattes and a wide range of delectable snacks as you’d expect, but around 6 wooden tables, a vending machine and a small private kitchen for lecturers to enjoy coffee at their leisure

LIES.

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3)      “An Intro Walk In The Peak District” is considered an appropriate and stimulating introduction to your new degree during Fresher’s week. Whilst Psychology and Economics are crawling down Carver Street you are trawling through Middle Earth hungover, crying into an Ordinance Survey map that you absolutely should, but never will, understand.

4)      Similarly, a “learning trail” consisting of visits to all of Sheffield’s gardens, parks, greenspaces and other such “quirky” hotspots is just as unwelcome in  Freshers Week.

5)      When you eventually make it to your first lecture, you’ll feel hopelessly intimidated at the sea of North Face, Craghoppers and Tog 24 infront of you. Potentially the only degree where a Pac A Mac would be complemented rather than mocked relentlessly.

Back in pack

6)      For someone who does human geography, the study of people, culture and economy, it is nothing less than a travesty how much time in first year has been begrudgingly devoted to environmental pursuit and walking boots.

7)      The one set book for the course, The Dictionary Of Human Geography, is not a vibrant, informative textbook with chapters, colour codes and inviting pictures as you might expect, but literally a 1052 page dictionary in Size 6 Arial Font that requires either a wheelbarrow or a body bag for transportation between buildings.

Fascinating reading…

8)       Netflix membership is vital to make sure those generous 5 hours of contact time fly by.

9)      As I am this week, you will genuinely be expected to write an essay describing, interpreting and reviewing a singular image consisting of nothing more than the Arts Tower, some blue sky and a cloud.

Deep.

10)      You will regularly be required to regurgitate obscure geographic information to your non geography friends. Until yesterday, it had somehow managed to pass me by that the Falkland Islands were in fact off the coast of Argentina and not Cyprus as I thought, so please do not expect me to know how many countries there are in the world.